Silly Hille

Winner!

2011-11-13T08:45:00.003-06:00

I'm a winner! I won this book from Cop Mama's blog! I'm pretty excited to read it- it sounds interesting. I'm a firm believer that only the mama knows what's best for her child, and it sounds like this book just reinforces that.

Random change of subject, the Insanity workouts are going good. It's getting hard to get up at 5 and by Friday I'm usually dragging! But I can tell I'm in much better shape than I was 3 weeks ago. I just can't seem to EAT enough. I wear my heart rate monitor while working out and it consistently says between 320-400 calories per 40 minute workout. Yikes- I know why I'm famished!

The third random thing is that we got a puppy. Don't judge me. (This makes 3 dogs in our house). We have an 8 yr old lab mix and a 6 year old golden retriever. A few months ago, good friends of ours, (whom we stay with once a month when I travel for photography to Nebraska) brought a puppy home from a retreat she was on at an Indian Reservation. They spayed & vaccinated her, crate trained her & then realized that their lives were much too busy to be the kind of pet owners they wanted to be or that she deserved. So they tried to find her a home and I think they knew pretty early on that I was kind of in love with her. :) (In fact I had posted about her here) It didn't take too much time to convince my husband (I may or may not have begged like an 8 year old...) and she's been with our family a week. She's so SMART! The last 7 days I have taught her sit (she had a pretty good handle on that from her foster family), lay down, stay, 'pound it', and 'bang' (I shoot her with my finger and she goes belly up.) She also is very good at fetching (including dropping the ball at your feet) and she's getting mostly house broken (we learned quickly that 'crate trained' & 'house broken' aren't the same!)

Sweet Wanbli (it means 'Eagle').... Welcome to our crazy family!

groan

2011-10-19T17:21:00.003-05:00

uuuugh.

I'm so sore I can barely move. I blame facebook. Here's why...

A friend had inquired on her status about the Insanity workout program. Brett & I did it last summer, so I gave my two cents. She asked if we could use my DVD's and do it together. I agreed. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. A group of 5 of us started on Monday morning at 5:30 a.m.

My muscles hurt so bad that I can hardly move today. There is such a thing as a good sore. This is not it. However it has also made me really conscious of my food choices during the day because I think "I can't eat that! I didn't get up at 5:00 this a.m. to only eat those calories back with this!" So I'm thankful for that. I had been doing really good with my food choices and working out, until later this summer when I started slacking. I'm so glad to have the motivation to get up and get back to it! :)

Otherwise, October is mega-busy for photography business (hello, Christmas card pictures!) and so I'm traveling again this weekend to do more pictures in Nebraska.

We've also been very busy with a 3 year old who started dance this fall. I love, love, LOVE tiny tutu'd toddlers! I love my child in a way I sometimes don't even fully understand.

I'll leave with a picture of her... This one makes my heart so happy!

Photography Blog

2011-10-14T16:07:00.002-05:00

I just wanted to let everyone know of my photography blog page- I'll be posting my contest entries (as well as business related give-aways) over on that site from now on. I'll be keeping the information here "personal" and the stuff there "professional". :) Feel free to check it out and comment there! :)

www.freerangephoto.blogspot.com

Thanks!

(PS I guess this means that I'll need to post more personal content HERE, huh?)

Touch of Sun

2011-09-18T23:30:00.003-05:00

Another contest entry for i heart faces! This week's theme: a touch of sun. This picture was taken a couple weekends ago at a wedding I shot in Canon City Colorado. As the sun was setting the bride & groom had snuck out of their reception to have a quiet moment and watch the sun set over the mountain. I snuck out on the patio to capture this:

Click on over to their website to see all the other awesome entries!

White

2011-08-28T23:23:00.002-05:00

Another fantastic week at i heart faces! The theme this week is "white".

This is a favorite from a session last week- isn't she beautiful?

Click on over to i heart faces to check out the rest of the stunning shots for the week!

Silhouettes

2011-08-26T23:04:00.002-05:00

This photograph is an entry for Rocktheshotforum.com silhouette contest. It was taken last fall, of my husband and our daughter while we were out for a nature walk. It was edited with an action called "Dim the lights" which really lends itself to silhouettes. Check out all the fabulous entries by clicking on the link!

i heart faces: pets

2011-08-22T09:55:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine recently added to her family. I jumped at the chance to photograph the new addition!

Welcome, Wanbli! She is an adorable little mutt with the sweetest eyes. :)

This week at i heart faces, the photo challenge is "pets"! Click on over to see some amazing shots!!

IHF: eyes

2011-08-14T23:04:00.003-05:00

This week's contest at i heart faces is EYES!

The first picture that came to mind for me was one I took recently of my 3 year old in a very rare quiet moment.

If you would like to check out more awesome eyes this week, click on over to i heart faces to check them out!

Sweet M

2011-08-05T23:16:00.003-05:00

This girl. She rocks my world.

I love her giggles, I love her energy and I love how she closes one eye so she can point at EXACTLY what she wants.

I love how an image that I shot from the hip on our point-and-shoot camera at the local fair can fill my heart with a feeling that can't be described.

Love.

IHF: Water

2011-07-24T23:16:00.002-05:00

Another entry for i heart faces photo challenge- this week's theme is water.

I love this picture of Madigan pausing to drink from the slip-n-slide; the post-processing really gives it a summery-warm feeling.

Click on over to the IHF website- there are some AMAZING entries already this week!!

Quiet Time

2011-07-23T16:52:00.001-05:00

Madigan, in one of her (rare) quiet, contemplative times.

Who's blog is this?

2011-07-21T00:04:00.003-05:00

Hi, my name is Sarah, and I'm a guest-poster here.

Just kidding, but it feels like it! Summer time is always busy for me. Besides my full time "real" job being busy (adding a whole second clinic to my schedule... why not!) my photography business is always booming in the summer time. Seniors, families, children- I love it ALL! Since those two "full time" jobs don't keep me busy enough (insert sarcasm) I am also a Zumba instructor at our local Rec. :) Throw a three year old and a husband into that mix and I'm hoping I'm forgiven for being absent HERE a bit...

Oh, and my 29th birthday is on the horizon in a couple weeks... My real 29th birthday- the one I get to celebrate the anniversary of from here on out! I have some friends and family meeting me in KC for Warrior Dash. I'm PUMPED! It's hopefully going to be a great way to send me into the year before thirty. I am considering doing a mini-bucket list of 30 things I want to do before I turn 30, and I'd love suggestions!!

Happy Birthday, Girl...

2011-07-11T20:07:00.004-05:00

I can't believe that I have a three year old.

In some ways, I can't believe it has been just three years since my water broke while I was working and I delivered a beautiful, healthy girl just six hours later.

In other ways, I cant believe it's only been three years, since I feel like her soul has been a part of mine forever. Maybe it has? But somehow life "before" her seems like a vague, distant memory of a place I have no desire to return to.

If I could preserve the things that make Madigan so unique, these would definitely be on the list:

She is a literal child. Black & white; there is no gray area. If you give her directions, they best be specific because if you leave room for her interpretation, you might get more than you bargained for.
Madigan speaks like an adult. She has a huge vocabulary and a great memory. She has a "matter of fact" delivery about her thoughts and feelings that leaves most people laughing. For instance, her daycare provider told her to eat her lunch so she could grow big & strong, and Madigan replied, "Don't you worry about me." However you'll never convince her that she mis-pronounces words. To this day, a monster is a "monstard" and "dainty" is "daimpty".
She loves camels, dinosaurs (she can name several "kinds"); she loves strawberry shortcake and recently learned all the Disney princesses after a friend of hers quizzed her and she didn't know any. Madigan replied, "But it's hard for me!" and then proceeded to quiz me one night until she knew them all. She loves to be read to and has several books memorized. She can recite almost any nursery rhyme if you start it for her, as long as you leave room for her interpretation.
Her favorite foods are blueberries, strawberries, McDonald's pancakes, and mac & cheese. She doesn't like meat or potatoes but will eat almost any fruit and most vegetables.

She can push my buttons faster than any other human being on Earth. She also fills me with a love that I have never felt before either. Luckily it's more of the latter than the former! I am so thankful for her, and it's conversations like this one from tonight that make me realize that being her mommy will be the greatest accomplishment in my life:

Madigan: "When I grow up, I'm gonna be a mommy too."

Me: "I bet you'll be a great mommy."

Madigan: "I will grow BIG and TALL. Then you can grow very little. And I will take care of you."

Me: "I know you will."

Madigan: "Because I love you."

Me: "I love you too, baby."

Madigan: "I'm not a baby, I'm a big girl!!"

Me: "I know, big girl...... I know."

Making Lemonade...

2011-07-03T15:48:00.003-05:00

We had Madigan's third birthday party on Saturday, and in preparation I purchased a cake from a home-baker. I put a lot of thought into the cake part of the party: first off, it's my favorite part of ANY party! Secondly, I like pretty cakes, but I'm not exactly skilled in that department.

I work in a town 30 miles away and I found a woman at the hospital who has recently started baking cakes on the side- Perfect! Not only would I not have to dirty my kitchen to create a cake, but it would look much better coming from her. Besides, I'm all about supporting local business, and I totally "get" women who work full time and also run a side business! Win-Win!

So per the birthday girl's request, a giant cupcake was ordered, with pink frosting and sprinkles. The baker had warned me that she'd never made a cupcake this size before, but she'd do her best.

This is the cake I picked up on Friday when I left work:

Beautiful! A ginormous, pink-frosted, sprinkled cupcake, complete with cherry on top. I thanked the "cake lady" profusely and we loaded the cupcake into my vehicle for the trek home.

Now, wether it was the 100+ degree weather, the heaviness of the cake, the vibrations on the highway or any other number of other unimaginable issues, this is what I found when I opened the box upon arriving home:

Gulp. The pink, frosted "top" was intact (although one side had frosting flattened from the side of the box it had impacted), but the bottom was a mess.

Holy COW! Madigan was with me, and she said, "Oh! A giant cupcake.... Sideways!"

I think I made some kind of internal-shriveling noise, and she said "What's the matter momma?"

I looked at her and said, "Your pretty cake.... it fell down! Mommy is sad!"

Madigan, the always literal, black & white kind of child that she is, said "... Oh well. Can I lick it??"

"Um... sure. Let's lick it." So we each got a fork and took a big bite. I texted the picture to the baker, who was also beside herself. She offered to drive over and attempt to fix it, and I declined. It's a three year old's birthday- it wasn't like it was my wedding or anything! So I decided to make some proverbial "lemonade" out of the situation:

I made the smashed cake section into cake-pops!

The next day at the party, as each guest arrived and looked questioningly at the giant, pink dome of the cake-top and the tray of cake-pops, Madigan was delighted to explain "my cake fell down then my mommy was sad. But we made THESE with it!" and would point her finger at the pops.

In the end, they were the best cake pops I had ever had!

i heart faces: whimsy

2011-06-27T07:30:00.000-05:00

Another week to participate in the i heart faces photo challenge!

I recently took my daughter's three year pictures. That morning, she had asked if she could have a tea party with her best friend, and we happily obliged. As they finished, they stood up and her friend wrapped her arms around my daughter for a sweet hug.

To my sweet daughter- I have no idea why God entrusted you to me, but I thank Him every day for that responsibility! I can't believe how fast the last three years have gone by, and I will cherish this picture of your sweet childhood forever.

To see more whimsical images, click on over to i heart faces!

Home Owners, the Before & After

2011-06-16T20:35:00.000-05:00

So I know I've promised a before & after blog on our new house for a while. We closed on the house in late April and spent our first night in our new house on May 13th. So- here's the story of how we made the house our home!

First off, we knew we wanted a cohesive "flow" through the house as far as colors or themes. We aren't afraid of color, but each room was a different color and none of it really matched with our current furniture or decor preferences. I also knew I have some china that was my grandmother's and I wanted so badly to be able to display it. I also knew that every time I tried to come up with an idea for a design, I became overwhelmed and wanted to cry. So what is your average, midwestern Kansas girl to do? Call in the A-team, of course!

I enlisted the services of an interior designer! I knew I was in over my head and needed help and I was SO thankful to know of an interior designer based in Wichita. I e-mailed her, and explained that I had a pretty tight budget (having just written the biggest check of our lives on the down payment, we didn't exactly have a ton of money for a re-haul!), and asked if she'd be able to help out in any way. She got back to me right away and together we talked about what my inspiration pieces were (the china, mainly!), what I did and didn't like (using google images as references), and then e-mailing her pictures of my house and of the furniture I'd be using in it. She was able to create the design having never seen my house- and I couldn't be happier about the outcome. Room by room she held my hand with everything from paint and curtains to the little details I would have never considered on my own. She even e-mailed me pictures of items I should be on the look out for (chandeliers, rugs, knobs and curtains) so that I could do my own leg work to find exactly what I wanted at a price I was comfortable paying.

It was painless and fast, and we were able to move forward quickly. Here are the before/after pictures of our new house with a bit of description about what we did:

Before (above)

After (below)

The living room & entry way got paint and new curtains.

Before (above)

After (different angle, below)

Better view of the paint and curtains:

Dining room, before (above)

After (below)

New paint, chandelier, rug, and window treatments:

Master bedroom before (above)

after (below)

New paint for both bedroom and bathroom, wall decal:

Madigan's room before (above)

and after (below)

New paint, wall decals, curtains and big girl bedding!

My personal favorite! The kitchen. Before (above)

After (below)

New paint, curtains, and knobs. The second

picture shows my grandmother's china hutch with the

china that was my "inspiration" in it!

We are so happy with the results! I also know I owe most (if not ALL!) of that to Trina, because without her help I would have floundered around miserably trying to make a decision!!

My point is: if you think you can't afford the help of a designer, you're wrong! You almost can't afford NOT to have input from a professional! Even in small-town America, I was able to find someone who understood my budget and worked with me- and I couldn't be more pleased!

Anyway- I wanted to post a link to her business page, deezeyener.com, in case you are interested in having an e-mail consult like I did. Trust me, you'll be glad you contacted her!!

So if you're in my neck of the woods, please stop by! We'd love to show you around our home!

IHF: Bright & Vivid

2011-06-12T22:47:00.005-05:00

Another week at i heart faces that I couldn't pass up participating...

I took this picture just this morning, as part of my daughter's three year shoot.

She wanted her friend to come for a tea party, and we couldn't pass up the opportunity to make it part of her session.

I am truly blessed to be this girl's mother.

Check out all the other "Bright & Vivid" entries over at i heart faces!!

i heart faces: from a distance

2011-06-05T15:36:00.005-05:00

This week's them at i heart faces is "From a Distance".

I had so much fun photographing this big, blended family last fall! Everyone took direction so well, that when I said, "Why don't you just hold hands and walk off into the sunset!" all eight of them just grabbed hands and took off!

I was pleased with the way the image looked when it was edited:

Click on over to i heart faces yourself to check out the amazing entries this week!

This weekend....

2011-05-30T20:23:00.002-05:00

This weekend we went to Kearney and I did detail pictures at a friend's wedding. This weekend she wore the most amazing shoes I've ever photographed or seen a bride wear.

This weekend I photographed a Memorial Day Service at our local Veteran's Cemetary.

This weekend I was reminded of how thankful I am for those who have served so selflessly.
This weekend I found headstones of people who I knew in my youth. This weekend I missed my brother (serving in Kuwait) even more than I did before.
This weekend I watched my dad bagpipe at the ceremony.

This weekend I posted a give-away on my facebook fan-page for Free Range Photography to honor military members.

This weekend I found my Leebot CD and will plan on finishing this giveaway later in the week.

What did you do this weekend?

Spring Fever...

2011-05-04T15:06:00.004-05:00

It's spring(ish) in Western Kansas, and the SillyHille family has been pedal-to-the-metal with all our activities!

In random order: we have a new nephew, Wyatt! Road trip to KC to meet his adorable little face and I have this to prove it:

I also spent the past weekend in Nebraska doing 7 photo sessions for clients. WHEW!

We've also managed to squeeze in another (big) item: we are homeowners again! We've been hard at work removing wall paper, painting, taking down and putting up window treatments/ceiling fans/ chandeliers/ etc. We haven't moved in yet, we are putting the finishing touches on our hard work, and I have a whole post in regards to renovations, and my lack of ability to decorate! Before & after post will come when it's complete....

The giveaway is still going on, mainly because I have packed up the CD to be given away and I can't find it at the moment. We DO have Madigan's copy, but you're not going to pry that out of her peanut-buttery little hands! So feel free to leave a comment on the post below if you'd like to put your name in the hat for a chance to win.

On a final note, I had the chance to travel to Wichita recently to meet (in person for the first time!!) a friend of mine that I have known for several years (via the internet). She and her husband were dealing with infertility at the same time Brett & I were doing treatments, and we met in an online forum/support group. After we conceived (and so did they!) our lives got busy with little ones and we lost touch of each other. Thanks to the modern miracle called facebook, we found each other again, just in time for me to follow along with their adoption story. I couldn't resist the opportunity to tell a story with pictures, and we had an adoption session in Wichita. Here are my 2 favorite pictures from the shoot:

"All you need is love.... and a TON of patience!"

Kinley knew right where baby brother was!

Our timing was perfect- the CD of pictures got to their house just days before they got the phone call telling them they could go get their son. As I type, they're in South Korea with their arms full of sweet baby Griffin! If you'd like to see the handsome little guy, check out their family blog and leave them a note of congrats! I'm hoping that they'll be willing to travel back to Wichita this fall for pictures of their family of four! :)

That's about all I have for now... I'm HOPING my next post will be pictures of our completely FINISHED home project....

A GIVEAWAY!!

2011-04-13T22:02:00.004-05:00

Is this a SillyHille first? A giveaway?? It might just be...!

But I am inspired and excited, and I hope you'll participate.

What are the goods? It's the third CD from Mr. Leebot- Madigan's favorite musician! She's been a fan since she first viewed his music video for "Twirl" (click on the link to see it). If you don't find yourself singing it for the rest of the day you're a stronger person than I am!

Leebot's music is hip, funky and fun! It's perfect to rock out in your living room to, or crank up the volume and jam in the minivan... um, not that I've done either. *cough* Ok, maybe a few times.

So besides the fact that the tunes are addictive, what else might motivate a mama to become Leebot Groupie? Just the fact that proceeds from the sales of the CD's will help Mr. & Mrs. Leebot bring their baby-bots home from Ethiopia, as well as provide much needed goods for the orphans waiting for their forever homes.

It's fun music for a fantastic cause. Life does not get more perfect than that!

So if you have kids, know kids, or are a kid at heart, this CD is perfect for you!

Each of the following will enter you once:

1- leave a comment on this post. Any old comment.

2- mention this giveaway in your facebook status, and link to Leebot's page. Come back and leave a comment letting me know you did it!!

3-Become a fan of Mr. Leebot on facebook. Stop back and let me know you "liked" him.

I'm leaving the contest open until I feel like closing it. Because I'm totally random and non-deadline driven like that.

Enter to win!!!

Edit: First- the proceeds of the sales will go to provide goods for the orphans in Ethiopia. The artist and his wife are funding the adoption personally/privately.

Second- This CD was purchased by me and will be given to YOU! I was not (a) given the CD or (b) asked to promote it in any way. Yes- yours truly is over the moon for Leebot purely on her own! I believe in the totality of what "Leebot Enterprises" (<--I might have just made that up?) is doing personally and professionally, and want to support it 110%.

Thanks!

Full Race Report

2011-04-09T21:03:00.003-05:00

Ok, so as seems typical for runners who blog, I felt the need to write a race report from today's half marathon.

I got there with enough time to warm up and stretch, and meet up with my sister-in-law's sister-in-law Jess (follow that?). She has run some big races, including a full marathon, so it was good to chat with her and keep my nerves in check.

We lined up at the back of the pack and had a cow-bell start (yes- for real!). It didn't take long for the pack to thin out a bit and everyone seemed to fall into their pace very easily. There was a slight head wind running out of town. I hung with Jess for about a half-mile but her pace is a bit quicker and I didn't want to hold her back. I had done all my training alone, so another long run by myself didn't bother me at all.

The course went south of town on a highway, about 2 miles before turning east and winding up a hill and into park and camp area. The park was beautiful and it gave me something to look around at as the sun rose. We ran over a couple of wooden bridges, and one of the water stops was a group of boy scouts who had camped out the night before and stood on the road handing out water and powerade. As we ran out of the park we ran further down the highway and took a couple miles back west and south before hitting the turn around point. The man with the "unofficial" split told me I was at 1:08 at the split, which was well ahead of my goal pace. About a mile back towards town, I passed a guy with a broken clavicle and his arm in an immobilizer! I thought, "if he can do this, so can I!" and we exchanged encouragement as I passed. I turned back into the park and had to do a "system check" as I was starting to feel the fatigue. Head, chest, belly and legs are all FINE, so I kept on running. I attempted a bite of banana but quickly ditched it. Just inside the entrance of the park I hit the 10K turn around point- and someone next to me pointed out "all we have left is a 5k! We can run a 5k!" and that did help a bit. There is a small hill-climb out of the park, then it was back down the hill and onto the main highway for the 2 mile straight stretch into town.

This was the point that the mental hurdles came popping up for me. I realized that every step I took was effectively the farthest I've ever run. I could see down the 2 mile highway stretch and knew that it was a long road back to the finish. I thought about the following things while I ran that first mile back to town: I repeated a few bible verses in my head that help lift my spirits. I thought about TWO friends I have adopting internationally, both of whom are matched with their children, and waiting to travel to bring them HOME forever. I also thought about my sister in law, who is due any day with my nephew. (Why was I thinking about babies? I have no idea! Anything to distract me I guess!) I hit the one mile mark, and I have to be honest: that was the longest mile of my life! I was hoping to have caught a "second wind" by that point, but no luck! I could see that the finish was down the stretch, but it felt really far away. I wanted to stop and walk and immediately talked myself out of it- who runs a half marathon and walks in the last mile?! :) As I hit the city limits, my arms and legs went numb. (I'm not convinced it was a 'good numb' either?!) but it definitely made the last half mile bearable. I kept my eyes on the finish, and as I got to the chute, I saw two of my high school classmates cheering for me (they had run the 10K that day). I also saw Jess rooting me on. I crossed the finish, had my timing chip removed, took a bottle of water and my finisher's medal from the volunteers, and then went straight to the porta-potties! Ha!!

As I came out, I chatted w/ a friend then went looking for Brett- he and my aunt brought Madigan over, and they were walking into the finish area when I spotted them: They had missed the whole thing!!!

My official race time was 2:16.35! Well below my goal of 2:30! I was super excited about that! We stood around and cheered the half-marathoners back in, and saw the winner of the full marathon come through about 2:40 or so! SHEESH! We ate at the pancake feed, then headed home! I will be sure to post pics later! Thanks for all the support!!

It's Time...

2011-04-07T21:26:00.002-05:00

(photo credit)

Race day is upon me.

What were nerves and anxiety early in the week have given way to anticipation and excitement now. I'm ready to run. In the spirit of full disclosure, I did not do my entire training- after my bout with tendonitis (which still seems to flare up after runs) I did not do my other two long runs as called for. To date, my longest run completed is 10 miles. Saturday, I'll have a total of 13.1 miles ahead of me. But I have trained- and my training will help me to cross the finish line.

Running isn't a competition for me, at not least in the traditional "me against them" mentality. It's more me against the voice in my head telling me I am too weak to continue.

My GOAL is to finish.

My ideal goal is to run the entire distance, without walking.

My dream would be to finish in 2:30.

I'll have a full race report- good or bad- after the weekend.

Right now, I'm going to bed, I'm packing my bags and I'm preparing for one of the biggest events I've ever participated in.

~Sarah

IHF: Slice of Life...

2011-03-28T18:58:00.004-05:00

"Slice of Life" is the theme this week at i heart faces.

To check out more beautiful entries, click on over to their website.

Sun Flare

2011-03-13T21:57:00.006-05:00

Another week at i heart faces and I just can't help myself!

The theme is "sun flare" and it's one of my favorite fun photography elements to work with.

I have done several sessions with sun flare, but one of my favorite pictures to date is a candid shot of my husband with my daughter. We were out for an evening walk on a fall day, and she got tired of walking. I was playing with my camera and looked back to see that he had scooped her up and they were cuddling. Sometimes the pictures we love the most are not always photographically perfect, but they hold a piece of emotion that we won't soon part with.

Check out all the awesome entries this week at i heart faces!

About that Half....

2011-03-12T22:07:00.003-06:00

So it seemed that I no sooner than pushed the "publish" button on that post about the half marathon panic and running the 5K when I developed my first running injury.

In the 19 degree weather of the run, I did notice my left ankle felt tight. Quite the over-achiever, I then went on to a one hour Zumba event that afternoon, and jumped around like a maniac on it. Resting Sunday didn't help much, and by Monday morning I could hardly get up the three flights of stairs into my office. One trip to the orthopedic doctor's office later, I learned I had a bad case of tendonitis. Prescription strength anti-inflamatories in hand, I pondered his advice on the drive home.

The orthopedic doctor told me it's mainly from repetitive use, like running. The best way to get rid of it is to rest a couple weeks then ease back into the activity. I have four weeks of training left, the longest of the long runs still ahead of me. Taking two weeks off running, then "easing back" into it most certainly meant no half marathon. When I specifically expressed that concern to the doctor, he just eyed me suspiciously. He said, "Can you run on it? Yes. If your concern was a tear or a stress fracture, you're cleared. But tendonitis will still be uncomfortable, especially for 13 plus miles." I sure would hate to have trained these last eight weeks and quit with four left to go, and I told him as much. Half chuckling, he said "Yeah... Runners. Give it as much time as you are willing, then try it out. If you can live with it, then run. I will leave the half marathon decision up to you."

I realized his advice was my perfect opportunity to quit.

But I couldn't quit, because even with the panic about the half-marathon, wondering if I was adequately prepared, and feeling like I had jumped in over my head.... I still want to do it. I took three days off. I ran three miles the first day, and by weeks end, did my scheduled long run of 10 miles. Can I promise that I'm gonna cross the finish line? No. But I can guarantee that I was handed the chance to duck out and I didn't take it. That feels like a little bit of a win right there.

Besides, I think he knew I was going to run anyway. He told me I needed two weeks worth of the prescription, but then eyeballing me as he wrote it out, he gave me a full 4 week supply. Just enough to get me to race day.

Let's Celebrate!

2011-03-06T20:46:00.003-06:00

Happy Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month!

What's that you say? You weren't aware? Chew on these facts:

Colorectal cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death for men & women.

This year, 131 THOUSAND Americans will be diagnosed with colon cancer. 56 thousand will DIE.

Because symptoms are sometimes hidden or non-existent, early detection is crucial. Get screened.

Wondering if you're at risk? Click here and read up.

"Why do you care?" you dear readers ask... (or maybe not? but I'm pretending you do!)

Because although those over 50, African-Americans and those considered "sedentary" are in the highest risk group, I have a friend who is none of the above, and he's in the fight of his life... For his life. He was so lucky that he caught it early and received immediate treatment. His story will have a great ending, I just know it. But others won't be so lucky.

So, I asked myself, what could I possibly do to honor my friend? Well, RUN for him, of course!!

So my husband and I suited up with our self-made shirts (funny, right?) and turned up in 19 degree weather to run a 5K. It was cold but it was fun, and we finished in 26:26.

So pay attention to the signs. Don't be afraid to get a scope. It could just save your life.

My Half-Panic

2011-03-02T20:53:00.005-06:00

I'm an over-extender. I need to learn to reign my ambitions in. I commit to something and then more and more and more until I snap and have to scrape some things off my plate. I feel this way with the half-marathon training right now! I never would have dreamed that I'd run (and enjoy) 7 miles at a time! But I can, and I do. But ten mile runs? Although tiring they're not impossible; but I just hate the time commitment that entails. Sixty minutes of cardio is plenty; much more than that and my brain is already back at home, making a to-do list while my body is on auto-pilot. I dig the "therapy" that running has become for me, but after this half marathon, I'm definitely going to keep the runs under 6 miles on a daily basis. Also I want to beg my friends to come out and cheer for me (come on- it would be hard to quit running and walk when you may have a friend around the next corner!).... But on the other hand, I want to just run this quietly under the radar and go home and take a nap.

I think it's because I'm just over one month away, and my biggest training runs are ahead of me.

I'm gonna keep plugging away, but I need some serious motivation right now....

IHF: head, shoulders...

2011-02-27T23:00:00.000-06:00

...knees or toes. Just not a face!

In a twist on the usual i heart faces themes, this weeks entries need to be of anything besides a face!

I wanted to enter a picture from one of my favorite engagement sessions:

It reminds me of a quote by Antoine de Saint-Exupery:

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but looking outward together in the same direction."

I'm a Duck

2011-02-19T22:26:00.003-06:00

Stress.

It's one of those things that everyone has, to some degree. Everyone reacts differently to it too. After one of the major collegiate shootings a few years back, I read an article about how in traumatically stressful situations (such as that) people either act or freeze. It's a derivative of the "fight or flight" syndrome. Some people either act quickly- blocking doors with desks, moving swiftly and efficiently to protect themselves and others and often putting themselves in harms way doing so. Others, although they have the best intentions, are physically unable to act or react. Frozen- unable to run and unable to help themselves or others.

I've never, ever been in a situation that I would consider to be that dire. (Thank God for that, might I add!) I do think that, as a nurse, I've been in several situations that require swift action and reaction, and honestly I loved that kind of adrenaline. I can act, move, help, think and do in "do or die" situations. I agree with the theory that people either act or freeze; but I'd like to add a third option to the table as well. The "Ducks" of the world.

(photo credit)

I'm a duck.

Professional stresses aside, here.

Personal stress causes me to go into duck mode. I often have friends tell me they think I handle stress very well. I'm usually methodical and precise with my analysis of things; able to separate emotion from logic. I can stand back, assess the situation and react to the best of my ability.

What they often don't know is that under the surface I'm paddling like the dickens.

Recently, Madigan was sick. I picked her up from daycare after work and she looked so pale white and had red eyes. I saw her and before I could speak, she said "mama, I'm sick." I took her home and called her clinic. Of course it was 4:30 on a Friday, and we were scheduled to go out of state so I could do five photoshoots. Just looking at her, I knew what was coming. I called two clients and cancelled before her clinic could call me back. I took her right in, and they confirmed what I knew: croup. Her oxygen levels were in the 80's (too low for a two year old!) so her provider said as gently as possible: "she needs to be hospitalized." A racemic epinephrine treatment, chest x-ray, steroids, albuterol and an oxygen tent later, our weekend plans were completely changed. Action was my coping mechanism- I was calling and texting while I was cuddling, cajoling and bribing my child. A duck- calm on the surface while underneath I was screaming at the lab tech who was digging for a vein, and angry at the daycare for not calling me and telling my kid was sick.

I knew the croup would pass, I knew my daughter would be healthy again very quickly. I was thankful for that, but underneath I was just as scared as any other mother would have been. Paddling like the dickens, not getting anywhere too fast for doing it.

I'm a duck.

What are you?

i heart faces entry

2011-02-08T20:35:00.003-06:00

Everyone knows I'm a huge fan of i heart faces! So this weeks "hearts" theme is incredibly fun for me....

This picture is of my niece and uses one of my favorite bokeh's.

If you'd like to see more awesome "heart" themed entries, then click on over to IHF!

No take backs!

2011-01-31T23:07:00.001-06:00

Man! As soon as I hit "publish" I regretted even talking about the half marathon!

I have never done a road race, and I'm not competitive... why did I sign up for this? Follow that up with several people who are real runners saying they've never done a half... I have some serious regrets, here!

Oh well- cats out of the bag and I can't wrestle it back in! ;)

Like I said, my goal is to finish... period. I do have a training schedule (it was for beginners!) and I've been doing a lot of reading on running- its it's own little cult world, isn't it? I thought I was more of a "techie" but I find myself leaning more towards the "minimalist" group... I went for a 4 mile run last Saturday sans-iPod, and I loved it! There is just something freeing about running without music-I'm down with that!

Spending the last year getting healthier has been quite the adventure. The foods I'm eating (quinoa- for example, would never had been on my radar a year ago, let alone in my lunch bag!), the activities I've done (Insanity, running four miles at once *gasp*), and the respect I've gained for what my body is capable of have been the best and biggest changes over the last year.

So, you healthy folks- what are your favorite healthy food? Favorite body-changing workouts? Favorite gear or gadgets? Favorite blogs to read? :)

I'd love to know what you all do to make yourselves feel like wonder-women! Spill it!

Slacker...

2011-01-24T20:28:00.006-06:00

Just checking in.... promise I didn't fall of the face of the Earth!

Actually, "real life" has been very busy- my real job has gotten REAL! :) I was hired in October and trained to work for a new surgeon. She's here, and has hit the ground running. From the few weeks I've worked with her, I'm really impressed with her as both a physician and a person. It's really nice to work for a doctor that you respect, and honestly this is the first job in a long time that I haven't had that "Sunday Dread" feeling... You know- when you realize that the following day is a work day, and then you just feel like crying? Hasn't happened here yet. That's a bonus!

I also spent a long weekend babysitting my 5 month old niece. Had to sneak a quick photo session in with her:

She's gorgeous! We have had a lot of people compare her looks to Madigan at the same age. What do you think?

They could definitely pass for sisters! (My niece is my brother's daughter).

I also have been busy working out... I think I'm officially ready to announce that I signed up for my first race... a half-marathon.

It is my goal to finish it- I'm fairly sure running the entire way is out of the question! But I have a "go big" mentality with goal setting, and needed something to work for. The race is April 9th- feel free to plan on being there with hand-made signs to cheer me on!! I'm gonna need all the motivation possible... I'm using a 12 week training program so we will see how it goes. :) (Any advice from you runners is greatly appreciated!!)

That's about all I have to say for now!

Heaven is For Real

2011-01-11T20:27:00.003-06:00

Last night, I downloaded a book onto our kindle titled "Heaven is For Real".

I could. not. put. it. down.

I read the entire thing immediately after downloading it.

This is a story of a Nebraska family who comes muchtooclose to losing their young son. Months later, and over the course of a few years, the son begins to talk about his near death experience with bone-chilling, child-like honesty and accuracy.

I suggest you read this book if any of the following apply:

If you believe in God.

If you don't believe in God.

If you're not sure if you believe in God.

If you have ever lost a child, or have a child, or know one of those children who speak directly and honestly.

If you like to read.

If you don't like to read but swore you'd read one book this year.

This is an easy-to-read, engrossing and deeply moving story.

Read it.

You'll never regret it.

Full

2011-01-07T20:49:00.003-06:00

Back when we were trying to get pregnant, I felt very alone. I didn't have any "in real life" friends who had difficulties getting pregnant- it was lonely. Seeking more information about infertility, I came across an online support group for infertile women. I found so many women there, just like me, wanting more than anything to become a mother to someone.

Several of these women "graduated", and a few of them even had children the same month as I did! Some did not and although I know it was hard, they continued to offer support to me and I to them as much as we could. I can honestly say that I have true, blue friends in this world- friends who's faces I've never seen!

One friend is married to a children's musician (among this family's plethora of talents), who sent Miss M a care package full of music and threads from her hubs. Madigan is a huge "Fanbot"- I'd offer a better picture as proof but when she's got her "Madigan-bot" shirt on, she's a robot dancing fool....

So I was clap-my-hands-and-laugh-out-loud excited when I read her most recent blogging adventure. Read up, soak it up, and follow along with her.

She's not the only never-been-met friend of mine with an amazing story. Check out April, another friend from the same support group. She's got a daughter close in age to Madigan, and a son that her family is now in the midst of bringing home from Korea. If you'd like to get in on her amazing fundraiser, then I suggest you click on that as well.

I guess if this rambling has any point at all it's this:

Maybe sometimes the things in life that seem to make us feel so empty and isolated in the beginning are actually the things that, given a little time, will make our hearts and lives feel so overwhelmingly full.

Poet, I'm not....

2011-01-05T19:54:00.005-06:00

Today, Madigan is two and a half.
It's been amazingly fast, and more than anything I could have ever imagined.

A little back story on the post below. I wrote this when Madigan was about 4 months old, in one of those early morning times when it's just you, your baby and a very quiet house. I've had it saved for quite a while, and I'm pretty sure I've never shared it before, because it feels pretty personal to me still.
I can't think of any better time to share than right now. She's growing up, day by day, right in front of me. Before I know it, she'll be a mother herself, and hopefully she finds some joy in those early morning hours, just as I did.
Without further adieu:

As I sit in the stillness of my house, the quiet hours before dawn, I rock my baby and I cry.

Her dreamy eyes, such a vibrant blue, look up at me from nursing, and blink heavily. I think about all the things her life will see; the injustice of the world that I cannot explain, and the beauty of this earth that God created with her in mind. She closes her eyes and drifts to sleep, and I cry.

As I hold her up on my chest, I feel her warm breath on my neck. I rock her to the rhythm of her breathing, slowly, back to sleep as the house sits quiet and dark, and I breathe with her. She lets out a squeak, then a deep sigh, and just breathes. I think about her little voice and I pray that she will use it to speak up for the less fortunate. I pray that some day, she will use her voice to help others in need, and soothe the souls of those who hurt. I think about her voice and the changes she can make with only her words, and I cry.

Her tiny hand grasps my finger and squeezes it tight. I squeeze her back, needing her more than she needs me, I think. I dream about the days, not too far from now, when that tiny hand will let go of mine and swing through the air during her first steps. Some day, that tiny hand will hold the hand of a young man; it will wear a wedding band, it will hold my grandchildren. I ask God to use her hands, so tiny and perfect, to touch the lives of others with a positive influence. I hope that she will know the most effective way to use her hands is to fold them in prayer. She lets my finger slip from her hand, and I cry.

I feel the weight of her tiny body in my arms, so small but so perfect. Her little body is so wonderful in every way, so soft, and so thoroughly her own. I hope she learns to love her body for its awesome ability to move and to do. I want her to have confidence in her physical appearance, to be blind to the images imposed on her from society. I pray she makes wise choices regarding her body and her health. Her tiny body lays warm against my arms, and I cry.

My tears are a mixture of love and sorrow. Love for my daughter, for my family, and for my God who has given this all to me, despite the fact I feel so undeserving of this. Sorrow for those who cannot experience this, who struggle with the ability to reach motherhood despite all the medical efforts and prayer and tears of their own. And as I lay her gently down in her crib, I see a fleeting smile cross her beautiful lips. I see her smile in her sleep, I think of the greatness which she is capable of, and I smile too.

Happy two and a half, Miss M. You're still as marvelous as ever.
<3

Let it snow...

2011-01-04T19:45:00.000-06:00

Finally!

Miss M was terribly happy this past new year's weekend when I opened the shades while she was eating breakfast, and she discovered it had snowed!

So, we bundled up in several layers and grabbed a dinosaur (of course?) and into the wild we went! Madigan has always been adventurous! She ran around for quite a while. Her dinosaur got stuck in the snow, and we had to "shovel him out" with a broom.

Don't worry- we saved him. This dino won't go down in an ice age! Note the pink cheeks- she was starting to get super-chilly! So we finished up our snow day exactly as you should:

HOT CHOCOLATE!!

Happy 2011!

2011-01-01T22:33:00.002-06:00

So, I thought maybe I should go public with my "resolution" this year... :)

Might it keep me honest? Hmm... maybe, maybe not. After all, I've always said the things we want to accomplish don't have to be defined or outlined anywhere- we do them on our own.

On that note... *cough*

My goal is 211 workouts in 2011!

It's not a huge goal, but it will keep me at it week after week. Maybe if I'm ambitious enough, I'll post a ticker... (ambitious = if I can figure out how to post a ticker? anyone?)

Anyway, I have a few posts to get around to doing this week, including one filled with pictures of a small person playing in snow.

So- dear reader(s), have you a goal for 2011? Feel free to share!

Peace!

Sarah

One year later...

2010-12-27T20:21:00.006-06:00

Last new years day we packed up house and moved into our rental. Even in that post, I mentioned that moving back to Kansas was on our radar- explaining one reason we didn't buy.

I never openly posted my 2010 new years resolution- for fear of failure, perhaps? However, I can look back now and say I think I've attained my two-word goal for the year:

Get Healthy.

I know that's broad and vague and generally not easily measured, but I knew what I wanted. Financial, spiritual, physical health. We are well on our way.

First, moving back to Kansas (and in with my parents for longer than was expected) was a financial blessing. Imagine- the generosity of parents providing a roof for you! With that amazing turn, we have paid off debts and even grown our savings account. It's a great feeling after the black-mold-disaster of 2009.

Spiritually I've grown too- I can't say I know all God has planned for me, and still feel like there are huge decisions weighing on my heart. However, I know that the "decisions" I feel like I'm struggling with are already settled in God's view of them. I'm working towards this: accepting that I don't have the answer, nor do I need it.

Maybe the easiest measurable success this year is my physical health...

Not that it's a great picture-comparison, but it's visual proof. I'm now over 20 pounds lighter than I was one year ago today. I'm still not "at goal" but I'm getting there- and can't believe how far I've come. I've been working out and joined weight watchers; I set my 2011 goal at not only "lifetime" status but to get a WW meeting started in my hometown. I also plan on running a 5k this spring. Woot woot! :)

So here we are- one year older, wiser, and "healthier".

What could 2011 have planned for me?

I'm not quite sure, but I say Bring it on!

Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T15:06:00.001-06:00

Merry Christmas, from our house to yours!

IHF: Silhouette

2010-11-14T23:39:00.002-06:00

Everyone knows by now that I love me some i heart faces photography! So this weeks theme, silhouette, of course piqued my interest!

I love how a great silhouette shot makes you want to see more of the picture...

If you want to see some fabulous shots, click on over to i heart faces!

Basement Dwellers...

2010-11-06T22:56:00.002-05:00

I feel like this is my first chance to sit down, clear my head and work through my thoughts on "paper". Virtual paper, anyway...

Moving back to Kansas and changing jobs has been a true blessing for us, but still a strain none the less. I realized after reading my last post, I didn't even mention something: we are living in my parent's basement! It wasn't an intentional omission. Choosing to live in a small town, we also limited our available housing pool. We have also been doing a bunch of number crunching to decide if we want to buy or rent (decided on renting for a while) and then also finding a rental that will allow us to have our dogs (non-negotiable members of our family). Lets just say the number of houses that allow dogs but also meet my standards for safety and cleanliness are few and far between. Thankfully, my parents have been more than gracious about allowing us to inhabit their space, take up their free DVR space with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and give them all the grand-daughter time they want. We have saved quite a bit of money already by doing this, but we do hope to have our own place in the next month or two. Honestly, I can see why some cultures have multigenerational housing arrangements! It's four sets of adult eyes to watch the kids, and extra companionship for the adults in the evenings. Besides that, when we have a two year old screaming, crying melt down, there's an extra reserve of experience and patience in the house. I try to cook most evenings when I get home from work and it's been nice to have a real family-style meal with Madigan on most weeknights. I can actually say I'm enjoying living with my parents and I think Brett can say the same. (Would my parents agree? Hmm...) That still doesn't negate the fact that we plan on moving out when the right place opens up. :)

Besides that, I'm loving my new job. I know I'm still in the "honeymoon" phase, but I think it's a great fit for me. I haven't regretted the job-change once yet! I got to meet "my" surgeon- the doctor that I'll be solely dedicated to working for- and I definitely got good vibes from her. I know that the 30 mile commute will get more tedious in the winter months, but for now it's been great time to clear my head and "process"! Brett's also loving his new job as well, and feels like he's in a job he could retire from in 40 years.

We are excited for the next few months to work themselves out and get us more settled. 2010 has been a year full of big changes- and I have a feeling that the wild ride of the "unexpected" is just beginning for us....

Where do I begin?

2010-10-26T21:58:00.004-05:00

Sheesh, it seems like I haven't blogged about "real" stuff in a long time- where to begin?

Maybe with our move across state borders...

A few months ago, I applied (on a whim) for a job in a cardio-thoracic surgeon's office. I had 2 interviews to follow, and was offered the job! We relocated to Kansas, where Brett was also hired as a loan officer. Madigan started daycare full time this week, Brett & I are both working and getting into the swing of things. This move back "home", our new jobs- it's all seems to be working out with some new, exciting plans that we have for our family... ;)

My brother is being deployed to Kuwait. This is his second tour in the middle east, and we are praying every day for his safe return! I captured this picture of Madigan kissing him at his deployment ceremony, and it just fills my heart every time I see it :

I love her squished up nose and her fist-full-of-face. I entered it into the pixel perfect blog's annual photo contest. If it even makes it to the point where you can vote for it, I'll post a link.

I also found out that several of my "in real life" friends actually read this blog! Hello, Friends! Feel free to comment... :)

IHF: Orchards

2010-10-18T21:40:00.003-05:00

Week 42 at i heart faces theme is "In the Orchard" and boy are we sure lucky!

That trip to the apple orchard paid off in photography and in apples.

Madigan was SO excited when we visited- she has been to several "farms" and so it seemed natural for her little brain to call this place an "Apple Farm"!

She walked so slowly up and down the rows of trees, and finally picked a big apple off a bottom limb and bit right in!

I love this picture because you can see the little smile on her face, the full cheeks, and the juice running down her chin. As soon as she could speak, she said "It's so... juicy!"

I know at age two, she's still too young to be able to remember this day herself, but it will be one of my "forever memories" of her childhood.

Click on over to i heart faces to check out the other entries this week!

PP Before/After Hop

2010-10-07T12:13:00.003-05:00

I (obviously) love photography blogs, I love learning everyone's techniques and getting ideas from other photographers to use in my own practice. One blog I always read, Pixel Perfect, hosts a before/after blog hop that I love to look at but rarely (if ever?) have participated. The concept is to post your straight out of the camera shot, then your edited shot with an explanation of how you got the finished product. The one I'm posting today is a six-month old and his parents. It was one of the first "Fall" days and I felt like I could either "edit out" the tiniest bit of sun flare in the upper left corner, or work it to make it "feel like fall". Here's the "before":

I used PSE 6 and a Pioneer Woman action called "Sunshine" (you can download it FREE from her, by the way!) to get this result:

I feel like it warms up the shot and gives it that Autumn feeling that I remember from that day's photo shoot!

Picture Post

2010-10-03T15:13:00.002-05:00

"If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be enthusiasm."

Johnny Appleseed

2010-09-27T21:06:00.005-05:00

The Lord is good to me.

And so I thank the Lord.

For giving me the things I need,

The sun, the rain, and the appleseed.

The Lord is good to me.

Oh, and every seed I sow,

will grow into a tree.

And someday there'll be apples there.

For everyone in the world to share.

The Lord is good to me.

Oh, here I am 'neath the blue, blue sky
Doing as I please.
Singing with my feathered friends
Humming with the bees.

I wake up every day,
As happy as can be,
Because I know that with His care
My apple trees, they will still be there.
The Lord's been good to me.

Amen.

IHF: Chalk!

2010-09-26T22:43:00.001-05:00

It's another week at i heart faces!

The theme this week is "Chalk" and there's already some fantastic entries. I had to enter, since this weekend we spent the majority of the beautiful fall weather outside and with dirty hands. This was the best I could get of my fast-moving 2 year old, who was obsessed with trying to color my camera.

Can't you just see the naughty in her eyes?

Head on over to i heart faces to check out all the entries!

A Common Love...

2010-09-24T23:51:00.004-05:00

“The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created--created first in the mind and will, created next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating.”

A Common Love is a creation.

Read about it, check it out. Donate if you can.

I found the blog because I admired her photography, but I continue to read it because I admire her story and her heart.

IHF: Vroom Vroom

2010-09-12T23:04:00.003-05:00

I recently shot a sunflower yellow & orange themed wedding. Every detail was perfect- down to the old yellow Ford the couple "escaped" in. I just love this image, I can feel the hope & love and excitement when I look at it!

Head over to I Heart Faces to look at all the entries!

Queen Sized Crib?

2010-08-31T21:11:00.004-05:00

Brett & I were cleaning Madigan's room the other day, when I asked him casually how easily her crib converts to a toddler bed. He took the rail off to show me, and Madigan jumped right into her bed and acted excited about how "big girl" it was. We debated a bit, but decided to try it out that night. We rocked and sang, said our prayer and I laid her down in her new "big girl" crib-turned-toddler bed.

She panicked.

Sobbing ensued.

We did try to leave her in there, but neither of us ever had the "Ferber" willpower and we caved about 5 minutes into the episode. I walked in to find her huddled in the corner of the bed, bunny gripped tightly and in between the sobs she muttered, "Side On! Side ON!"

Brett had already grabbed the necessary equipment and was gladly obliging.

She calmed down and watched him attach it, and said in the tiniest voice, "thank you, daddy."

I rocked her a bit more, and as I was tucking her into her four sided crib she said "night night, mama." and went right to sleep.

When I came out of her room, Brett looked at me and said, "If she's in no hurry to grow up, I'm in no hurry to help her. She can stay in that crib as long as she wants to." That's really why I love this man- I felt the exact same way but wasn't going to say it!

In 17 years when she leaves for college I won't have the liberty of knowing where she is every night at 8:30 pm.

Besides, I've already looked into adult size cribs, and I think this will fit nicely into her dorm room:

Miss Toddler America

2010-08-22T20:14:00.007-05:00

So I've been pretty busy chasing a high-heeled toddler around, among many other things, and have been a bad blogger.

Please forgive me.

Among the many things, in no particular order:

Brett & I have finished our "summer workout program" that we started earlier and have moved on to other endeavors. We did the Insanity workout series from Beach Bodies. It was hard core, for sure. Luckily I had no idea what I had gotten myself into and by the time we had started I knew I couldn't just be a quitter- so we gutted it out. If you have bad joints, don't even think about starting this. TONS of jumping and plyometrics! But we both did alright- I think my total weight loss for the 2 month program was around 12 pounds. It was definitely a great plateau-kicker for us. (We started following weight watchers in March and by June had hit a plateau with weight loss and motivation.) We have since moved on to running and hope to enter some 5k's this fall. There is a half marathon in our state capitol in May- I'm not committing publicly to this mind you- but we are going to see if we think we could endure it! I definitely prefer the running over the Insanity- for one Madigan loves to ride with us! She asks me daily "Run, mommy? Go running?" so it helps for motivation. I'd love to have suggestions from my running reader(s) as to shoes, ipod playlists, or any training tips for 5ks! We just barely have our toe in the water, and I realize it's a whole new world of people who call themselves "runners"!

Besides our healthier summer, I have also been booked solid with my photography business. Weddings, babies, children, families- summer is the busy season for me! I love it but sometimes I admit that the housework gets neglected when I have photos to edit and deliver to clients! I'm lucky to have a husband who doesn't complain much- but I know he's ready for me to slow down a bit too.

My brother & his wife welcomed their much-awaited baby to this world on 8-9-10! (What a cool birthday, huh!?) We had to make a flying-trip down to visit and the 5 hour (one way) trip was definitely worth it. Madigan thinks the world of her baby cousin. She has talked about her every day since we got home.

I've also been working on my 101 in 1001- I am dangerously close to the end and have a TON of things left looming! Eek.

Anyway, I really hope the video loads. If not, here's a couple pictures of Ms. Madigan and her shenanigans:

I heart faces entry

2010-08-15T23:01:00.003-05:00

The theme for this week at i heart faces is "Gotta Wear Shades"!

I couldn't resist this picture from a wedding that I shot this weekend:

There's nothing quite like the future that is laid out in front of you on your wedding day, is there?

If you'd like to see all the entries to the i heart faces contest for the week, click on over to their site (linked above).

2010-07-25T22:27:00.003-05:00

I have entered a new phase of motherhood.

I'm not sure what it's called, since this is my first go-round with motherhood, but I think the long name is "The Phase Where You Are Simultaneously Impressed With What Your Child Can Say & Embarrassed By It". (It might also be referred to as "Toddlerhood")

Before church today, Madigan kept repeating the same word over and over, and I had no idea what she was saying. Finally she stood on the pew, pointed to the band area, and proclaimed "Bio-LIN!" Indeed-she was pointing to a cello and declaring that the man was playing a giant violin. We were as impressed as everyone around us, and then quietly asked each other "How did she know that? We don't ever see violins!" Sadly, we realized how she knew what a "bio-lin" even was: Elmo's World. What a true proud parent/embarrassed parent moment.

After church I was speaking with an Indian woman, who was the mother of a little boy who had just been baptized. Madigan and this boy, Valentino, are almost the same age and seem to be as good of "friends" as kids this age can be. As I was speaking with her, Madigan points and says "Tino's Mama!" and we both acknowledged that she is 'Tino's Mama. Then she proclaims, "Tino's Mama is BROWN!" I just kept chatting but Madigan grabbed my face, turned it so we were looking eye-to-eye, and said again, "Tino's mama IS BROWN!" I didn't really know what I was supposed to say to that, except that I obviously had to acknowledge it or she would just keep repeating herself. "Yes, honey. She is." was all I could manage to say. I have never been so proud that my daughter knew her colors and embarrassed by it at the same time.

I have a feeling it's only the beginning for us... This is one observant kid!

Ramblings on Faith

2010-07-02T16:18:00.004-05:00

Two years ago, I delivered a girl, and was delivered into the world of motherhood.

"If You just let me get pregnant and carry a baby to term, I will never ask for anything again."

This was a phrase I desperately (and often) repeated to God during our attempts at starting our family. I am fully aware that bargaining with Him doesn't work: by defining what I was willing to do, that only assumes that there was a limit to what He is capable of. He doesn't need me to outline what's in 'the deal'. He's the one in the driver's seat! It was futile, but that seemed to be my middle name. Besides that, He already knew that was a big, fat lie on my part from the get-go.

God would (and did) fulfill my requests, not because I asked but because He had planned it that way all along. And you better believe that I didn't keep my end of the bargain: I asked for a healthy baby, for a safe delivery, and for several other things since then. Some of those things happened too; not because I asked, but because He had it planned that way all along.

So is prayerfully asking Him for these things in vain? I believe not. He knows our hearts, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to hear what is weighing on them.

Being a parent has affected me many ways, but my faith has maybe changed the most. I know I only have a small sliver of the parenting-know-how that God has. I can only imagine that the frustrations I sometimes feel with a 2 year old, He feels with all of His children on a daily basis. My child knows right from wrong, but sometimes chooses to disobey. I know what she wants before she even asks for it, but I make her ask me anyway. Sometimes she asks for things and promises to share and be gentle, and she isn't. Sometimes she shuns me in frustration, refuses to hug and kiss me, or screams at me angrily. It is in those moments when I feel deeply frustrated that I always think about my own actions as a Child of God, and realize that she comes by those actions very, very naturally. In turn, God has planted in me a small seed of Himself: in spite of those actions and behaviors, I love her anyway. Unconditionally.

It is through grace that God gives us what we need but do not deserve. God's grace has been abundant in my life, most notably in the last two years. It is His grace that I try to model my own parenting after. I strive to do for my child what God has done for me: patience, security, unconditional love, guidance, and grace.

Very soon, we will be asking him for another child. (Proof that I am incapable of keeping up my end of that 'never asking for anything again' bargain.) I will ask, and He will answer in His way, in His time.

Not because I am asking, but because He has a plan for us all along.

God's grace.

We are undeserving, but so deeply grateful.

Calling all Prayer Warriors!

2010-06-25T23:16:00.002-05:00

This post is just a bits-n-pieces one:

A friend of mine from high school, Janae, has recently been dealing with some health issues with her daughter AJ. Click on over to her blog to read up on it, or just feel free to pray for her family as you see fit. It's hard when you hurt for your children. Send her some love!
I had to do the Heimlich on Madigan last week. I'm a nurse, I'm not an 'over-react'-er. This was the obstructed airway, no noise from her blue little face back-blows. She was eating a chip and coughed. Then just didn't cough and made no noises- before I could do anything (actually I think I said "Holy $h!t") I had her out of her booster seat and was doing the back blows. Five solid hits later she was crying and pushing me away. Apparently choking is scary enough, but then having your mom rip you from your seat and beat you is equally as traumatic. Brett had to reassure her that "mommy hit you because she wanted to help you." In the spirit of full disclosure, she actually wanted to finish dinner, and ate quite a bit more. I didn't eat much after that... I felt too icky.
I really need to write down all the things that Madigan says incorrectly. Because they're funny and soon enough she'll be talking correctly. Here's a start: Bug = "bung"; alpaca = "al-ca-pack-a"; Big Bird = "Bing Bud"; elephant = "ele-phip". And recently we had to have this conversation: (M) "What's that?" (Me): "It's a nipple." (M) "Nee-pull" (Me) "yes." (M) "Daddy- shirt please."
Brett & I have started a 60-day workout program that I'm fairly certain was designed by satan and has the ultimate goal of causing cardiac arrest. I could be wrong about that, but I'm pretty sure I'm spot-on. We took "before" pictures (which you will not be seeing, thankyouverymuch) and also did measurements. We started it about 2 weeks ago and re-measuring hasn't been necessary since my clothes are literally falling off of me. Even though I'm "2 weeks successful" I still can't go "public" with it (on facebook, naturally) because I still want the option to quit and not be accountable to anyone. There, I admitted it and hopefully someone who reads this will now keep me accountable.... Anyone? Anyone??
I'm thinking I need to dye my hair blonde again. Because Madigan is such a cute blonde, and everyone says "Who is the blonde in the family?!" (Brett & I were BOTH super blonde, so that answer to that is "both of us") but since we've both gotten darker in our 20's (his naturally and mine has been helped along...) nobody believes that she gets that from us. I'm thinking of going lighter... opinions?

That covers the basics of what's happening here. Again, please keep my friend Janae in your prayers, and leave her some love/support on her blog if you'd like. It's a rough time, and it's always nice to know people care.....

Summer Time!

2010-06-18T23:34:00.002-05:00

I love the summer. I love to swim, I love to play outside, and I love that Madigan loves it too.

One of the first times we went to the pool, we started in the baby pool. Shallow, safe, slow. That is SO not Madigan's style, and she didn't last long. Here's a pic of her in her monkey-suit and her "occu-puss".

The second time we went to the pool, we did get right in the "big kid" side. It was fun, and she enjoyed splashing around with her mama for a bit. We even practiced making faces for the camera:

Then, she saw it.

The water slide: her new favorite thing. It has water, it is a slide: it must be from heaven. No worries for her- she let us schlep her up the three story stairs and sat on our laps to ride down. Please note the expressions in the next picture: Brett is nervous. Not a strong swimmer, my husband. Nervous about holding a not-even-2-year-old in his lap. Her expression? Well... if her chubby little head smiled any more it would split in two.

We joke around that this daughter of ours doesn't do "slow" or "careful". She's animated, excited about life, and has no fears about anything. Other people may call her "busy", but I know that neither of us would have it any other way.

i heart faces: babies

2010-06-13T20:23:00.004-05:00

Want to hear a story? When I was in the 1st grade, I moved to a new, strange town. I was so scared that first day of school, I had no idea what to do. At recess, a girl came and introduced herself to me. We played, and she introduced me to the rest of our class. This girl and I, we were friends through grade school, dance classes, girl scouts, and high school. We lived together through college. She met a boy, he swept her off her feet. They wed, I was a bridesmaid. They had a baby boy, and named him Colton. I took my camera when I went to introduce myself to him. It was as if all the genetic "awesome" that both parents carried was passed on to him. This little guy might be here because "boy ♥ girl", but I am honored to know him because a hometown girl was nice to a new girl.

It's no secret that I'm a big fan of the photography website i heart faces. I'm also a fan of babies; new, wrinkly, squishy little newborns especially! So when I saw the theme for this week (All About Babies) I knew exactly the picture I wanted to enter: Colton with his daddy. I can't wait to tell this little guy about how amazing his parents are!

♥

2010-05-31T21:36:00.001-05:00

Love.

If you feel like dancin'...

2010-05-24T20:42:00.002-05:00

Physically, Madigan is a perfect mix of Brett & I. She has his eyes, my nose, his mouth, and my cheeks. Both of us were blonde, short, stalky and "thick" as toddlers. As a parent, our ties to our children first focus on the outward and the physical. As they grow, you see that besides the physical resemblance, they grow their own little attitude. Her personality isn't "mine" or "his" but it's totally Madigan.

I'm a social person. When I'm thrown into a new situation, I can simultaneously read the people around me, while talking and getting comfortable fairly quickly. I was raised to believe that you should never talk to strangers, luckily I've never met one! (I get that from my father!) The majority of people have great stories, and love to hear them. Once I'm comfortable, there's nothing that is off limits; you'll often find me socializing with "new friends" and never see me shy away from the dance floor or the spotlight. I was the kid that jumped right into the deep end of the pool, and hoped for the best; it's this same attitude as an adult that sometimes drives my more reserved husband crazy.

Brett is a bit more reserved in social situations, sometimes to the point where people wrongfully label him as stuck-up or stand off-ish. He's self confident, but not boisterous or even outgoing with "strangers". So while he keeps to himself and usually surveys the crowd around him (and usually accurately sizing up the folks in the room), he doesn't appear nervous or anxious, which is most likely how he can be wrongfully tagged. Once he's comfortable with his surroundings, he will get a bit more loose and talkative, but he's rarely chatting up total strangers or attempting to get into the spotlight. He was the toe-dipping kid at the pool, and lowered himself in one chilly inch at a time; as an adult his thoughtful approach sometimes seems too reserved to me.

I love to watch Madigan in new situations, and see how she's like me, but also how she's different. At home she's physical, talkative, and confident. She knows what she wants, and will ask 20 times until you see it her way. That is so me. But once you add in anyone new, she becomes internal. She watches, she doesn't speak much but isn't nervous either. It's like she doesn't want to be the action, but rather be able to react. That is so Brett.

This weekend, we were at a wedding reception. As Brett & I sat, Madigan sat too. She watched the crowd of children dancing. You could see in her eyes she wanted to dance too. She was never nervous, shy or wanting reassurance from us. As we continued to talk, she decided it was "ok" to proceed. She slid off Brett's lap, and without ever looking back she walked right into the center of the group of children, held out both hands and made two new friends. She danced like it mattered to her; and not to anyone else. She never once looked around for approval from her new friends. It felt right; she was in the moment. Brett & I watched her for a bit, then decided to join her. As we reached her side, she seemed genuinely happy to see us.

And we all danced, together.

2010-05-13T21:00:00.006-05:00

The first weekend in May, every May, is the Gatherin'.

Caber-tossing, Scotch drinking, sword holding good times, I tell you.

Madigan went on Friday night, and ate a lot of corn. A LOT of corn. Enough to make her go cross eyed. She stayed with her grandma on Saturday, which is for the best, considering all the Scotch drinking and swords and what have you.

Crosses were lit on fire and ran like a relay. Weights were thrown for height and distance. Sheafs of hay were pitch-forked over a plank of wood. I'm not really sure why we do it, except that we're Scottish and that's apparently what Scottish folk do.

Many pictures were taken, and some were heavily edited for effect.

I was introduced to s'mOreos. It was a camping on the ground good time. And just in case you don't believe me that Madigan ate enough corn to go cross eyed.....

Exhibit A:

A Hero's Welcome

2010-04-24T15:04:00.004-05:00

On a recent, cloudy & rainy Friday, we lined the streets with other small-town folk to welcome home our town's 1195th Transportation Company. While our family didn't personally know any of the soldiers that had been deployed this last year, small towns like ours are all affected when a large group of soldiers leaves- it's the "ripple effect". Families line the streets, yellow ribbons are tied on poles, signs are made, and then we wait with anticipation and excitement for the "parade" up our main road to the high school gymnasium for the welcome home ceremony.

While waiting, Madigan entertained herself with a small flag. Just as the local police blocked intersections, we heard a rumble on the horizon. Instead of thunder as we suspected, the clouds literally parted as the Freedom Riders & Patriot Guard rumbled in on their Harley's ahead of the busses hauling the soldiers. (The soldiers are "escorted" in by law enforcement and the Freedom Riders as a courtesy- because, yes- we actually have people who come protest the soldiers return. Sick.)

Firetrucks, motorcycles and police cars all proceeded by, followed by the busses, hauling soldiers who had family waiting for them at the school. Here was the day from our perspective.

We say, "Thank You"

Because

Freedom

Isn't

Free.

About Babies...

2010-04-18T20:07:00.000-05:00

With spring in full bloom and signs of life everywhere, it's nearly impossible to not think about the prospect of ... * gulp * ... another baby.

I know that if you've read my blog (or talked to me in real life) for any amount of time, you know that my husband and I struggled with conceiving our daughter. I jokingly call my journey "Infertility Light" since I have found so many friends along the way who have literally been to hell and back; however the difficulty that we faced was ours, and it definitely shaped our views on adding to the family again.

If we were to completely set aside the emotions of what that entails and look at the facts, we know the following things:

I have been told by two separate OB/GYN's that conceiving a second child is going to be an uphill battle. To quote one of the specialists: "Feel free to try on your own all you want. Come on back when you're ready to get serious about it." (Side note: because of previous treatment/outcomes, this would be starting with injectable medications.)
Because I have taken a new job since conceiving my daughter, my insurance no longer pays for any of the said treatments. One month, or "cycle", of treatment is going to be thousands of dollars.
I really, really want to be a stay-at-home mom if/when we have a second child, and that would mean that my now stay-at-home-husband would need to find a job that supports our lifestyle as it is now. (Not that it's remotely lavish! But we've basically cut all the corners we can and it's a priority for us to have a parent at home with our daughter or children.)

Ok, ok, that last one is more of an emotional "fact" than a concrete one. The truth is that our daughter has gone to daycare, I would have no reservation in sending her again if we had to. But the fact is, we don't have to. We have downsized our house, our cars are paid for and we are working hard to pay back what money we owe to be totally debt free. With all that, we have so far afforded for my husband to stay at home with her for the last year, and it's been fantastic for her. (Him too, I might add! However I never pass up the opportunity to let him know that I appreciate him sacrificing his degree and career to do it.) Luckily, we have the same long term goal of switching roles and having me home.

The almost bottom line is that we do want more children. Honestly, we want to have more biological children and we also have done heavy research into international adoption. The part that is depressing and frustrating is that either route is going to cost us thousands of out-of-pocket dollars. Not that it's not worth it- because it absolutely is. It's just saddening and upsetting that the fun-loving, free-spirited attitude of family planning has been taken from us. We don't get to have the "if we try in the fall we can have a summer baby" talks. We are on the same page: we want more children. The part that hurts the worst is that it's not that we're emotionally on different pages or worried about the timing of it: it's solely making sure that we can up-front finance it.

So what is the bottom, bottom line? Madigan. Here's what I want her to know, regardless of how we choose to pursue growing our family:

Madigan is enough for us. For me. For Brett. She is more than we deserve, she is everything we asked for and more. In the end, if no other children find their way into our lives and into our family, I want her to know that she has fulfilled my purpose in this world. Madigan is more than enough and our greedy pursuit of a larger family has nothing to do with her. I do not want our wants and needs to affect the kind of parent I am for her.

So there you have it. Spring, and babies, and emotions all in one big rambling post.

And that's enough.

Easter

2010-04-10T21:07:00.004-05:00

Happy Easter! These are some pictures from the Egg Hunt. Yes, she managed to eat a Cadbury Mini-creme egg (some aluminum foil as well) before we could stop her. It got everywhere...

She was pretty good at finding eggs, once she realized that there were tiny pieces of candy in them then she was even MORE excited!

I realized that we took absolutely NO pictures of her in her dress & sweater before church. That's basically par for the course with us! But here's one more "play in the yard" picture from after the egg hunt:

One Thousand Words

2010-03-29T20:42:00.003-05:00

Sweet. Sassy. Sincere. Fun. Cute. Funny. Cuddly. Generous. Amazing. Inspiring. Curious. Hungry! Giggly. Silly. Adorable. Smart. Goofy. Loved.

Seriously- a picture is worth a thousand words, but I could come up with about as many to describe this precious little girl...

Before & After Blog Hop

2010-03-25T16:20:00.000-05:00

So, I thought I'd enter the "Before & After Blog Hop" that Monica at Pixel Perfect has so graciously done. The idea is to post a picture straight out of the camera, and then your "fix", explaining how you touched it up. I'm not going to be very thorough here, because I don't remember all the steps I took to fix this shot. I was editing in Photoshop Elements, the most basic kind of equipment for digital editing!

Here is the shot, straight out of the camera:

My goodness, the laundry list of things wrong! I was shooting a "Birthday Smash Session" for a one year old, which allows them to just annihilate a cake while I happily shoot away. Well little Madelyn took off straight for me, and her dad stepped in to help wrangle her. I was using natural light from a sliding glass door, and just happened to be tweaking the setting on my camera when she did this. She had this cute, naughty "I'm gonna get you" look on her face, so I just snapped it!

My solution to fix it included the "Magic Extractor" tool to take away dad's hands and rubber stamp in the backdrop. I also heavily tweaked the white balance, the brightness, clarity and tone to end up with this shot:

I guess the key to being a learn-as-you-go photographer is learn how to use the processing tools on your software of choice, because they may end up saving a shot that would be a lost cause.

Mmm...

2010-03-21T20:30:00.005-05:00

I ♥ food! Tonight, I made cheese tortellini soup, which was not only delicious but also healthy! It could easily be made vegetarian (if your version of vegetarian includes cheese).

It's pretty quick and simple too. The recipe follows:

1 small package of refrigerated, pre-made cheese tortellini (I used bertoli)

2 cups chicken broth (or sub vegetable if you wish)

3 cloves of garlic, minced

1 teaspoon rosemary

2 cups water

2 handfuls of spinach, chopped coarsely

4 sun-dried tomatoes, chopped (not packed in oil, but dry)

1 can of great northern beans

To cook:

Cook tortellini as package directs. Drain. In the mean time, mix the broth with the minced garlic and rosemary and add the water. Bring this to a boil on the stovetop, and when boiling add the spinach, beans, and chopped tomatoes. Drop the heat to low, and let simmer for 2-3 minutes, until spinach noticeably wilts. Add the drained noodles, and continue to simmer for another minute or two before serving.

And if you need proof that it's delicious, then take a peek at Madigan. She's not only eating her soup, but trying to steal the spoon out of mine as well:

Bullet Points...

2010-03-18T20:37:00.002-05:00

Dot dot dot...

Bullet points: not exactly a coherent post but I'm going to give a quick synopsis of the happenings here and I suppose if you have a "vote" as to what YOU want to hear more about, just leave me a comment....

Brett and I have recently re-started weight watchers. Ok, so I have re-started, he is just starting for the first time, and mainly to support me. After doing some math before our anniversary and realizing that we have gained almost 100 pounds since we started dating*, we were motivated to change! So far, so good. (*for the record: we started dating when he was 15 and I was 17, so it's not like we were full grown adults. But 100 lbs? Really? WAY too much weight.) Wait- did you just call me a cradle robber?
We bought a jogging stroller. Neither of us jog. We set a goal to run a 5k this fall. My motto prior to this was "I don't run unless things chase me". I guess fear of impending morbid obesity, stroke, heart attack, and death are now chasing me. Run, Sarah, Run!! We finally got weather today that was nice enough for said "jog". It wasn't pretty. But the stroller works good and when I stopped to walk a bit, Madigan said "More! Whee! More!"
Spring is in the air, and I have babies on my mind. Oh, the complexities of this statement.
Madigan's brain has officially hard wired her "speech center" and there's no going back. Among the things she has said this week: "I see you, daddy!", "No. NO! Sit DOWN!", and "Stinky. Me stinky." She's also a rock star at naming body parts. I see a medical future for this child.
We are contemplating potty training. She's showing signs of readiness. I'm not so much ready for that (emotionally or physically). Is 20 months too young? Ugh.
We have committed to driving both of our (paid for) vehicles "until the weels fall off". We thought that we were dangerously close this week with Brett's truck. He tried without success to fix it, then we had to have it towed and fixed for under $300. (It's probably worth about $500 as a trade in!). A newer vehicle is on the horizon, I just hope it's a year or two away.
My photography business has really started to take off! I have not really advertised, and almost all my referrals have come by word of mouth. I'm very excited, I love photography!

I think that cover a majority of our lives right now. I promise to post pictures again soon...

Ten Question Tuesday....

2010-03-15T21:26:00.003-05:00

Ok, so since I haven't really had anything to write about, I thought I'd just post a little 10 question survey and the answers.... Feel free to copy and paste your own, and let me know if you did, I'd love to know the answers!

Here goes...

1. What is the last lie you told?

Um... That I don't have anything to write about. I have a lot of things bouncing around in my head but most of them are incomplete thoughts, things I'm not sure I want to just put "out there" on here, or seem simply whiny and really shallow once I being to write about them. So I'm keeping them trapped in my head for now!

2. What was the last thing you highlighted?

The term "Fasting Lipid Profile" at work. Really exciting, I know.

3. Who is the last baby that you held?

Her name was Ruby, she was one day shy of 2 weeks old and she made me want a(nother) baby really, really bad.

4. When was the last time you went to a six flags?

Wow, I think it was 6 flags over Denver (Elitch Gardens) about 8 years ago with Brett and my parents.

5. What is the first thing you wash in the shower?

My belly button. Seriously, just don't ask.

6. When was the last time you used hand sanitizer?

At work, but I usually just try to wash my hands instead because I hate how bad it dries my skin out.

7. Do you believe in the religion you were brought up in?

I do indeed. I think that I was given ample opportunity to ask a lot of questions, and encouraged to explore outside of my comfort zone, which really helped to make me learn what I do and don't "believe in" and what I look for in a church family. (I guess that's the advantage to being brought up by a minister- one who didn't just cram his views down my throat but encouraged me to learn for myself!)

8. Which of the 7 deadly sins is your biggest downfall?

Ha... Either Sloth or Gluttony. Probably Sloth, I love some food but I don't think I'm "Gluttonous".

9. What is on your perfect pizza?

Green & black olives, italian sausage, sauerkraut.

10. How do you feel about reality TV?

It makes me ashamed of humanity.

There, now, was that so hard? :)

I suppose next time, I'm going to have to put a real post together. We will have to see which of the random thoughts bouncing around up there makes it's way out and into reality...

Another Entry....

2010-03-07T19:34:00.003-06:00

...for the i {heart} faces contest of the week!

Every week I wonder if I will be able to participate in the weekly contest.

When I saw the theme this week was "Jump for Joy" I realized once again that I could participate! Yay!

This was taken during an engagement session last spring. This couple was up for anything- and we had so much fun doing their shoot! Towards the end of the session, I told them to run up to the top of the hill and start jumping up and down. Without even questioning me, they just took off! Here's proof that this marriage can last the long haul: They counted together to three, held hands, and jumped as high as they could, just reaching up to heaven.

If you'd like to see some great pictures, head on over to i heart faces and check out the other entries!

I ♥ Faces, "out takes"

2010-03-02T19:44:00.002-06:00

So the theme for "I ♥ Faces" this week is hilarious out takes! Trust me, I could have more than enough entries for this contest!

The best one that comes to mind was one of Madigan when she was 6 months old. A friend had made onesies with her initial on them and a tiny pink bow. Once she found that bow, she was all over it. No matter how hard I tried to distract her, she just had to have that bow. When I snapped this one, I think she was certain that she had finally gotten away with eating that bow.

It is by far one of my favorite "accidental" shots to date.

♥

2010-03-02T14:58:00.006-06:00

On the road again....

We took a long weekend and decided to go visit my brother Ben & his wife Jamie in Wichita. We were nervous about the 5 hour trip with our tiny tagalong, and unnecessarily so. We left at nap time, and although she doesn't sleep much in the car, she did enjoy the new toys and books we picked out just special for this trip. After a small stop at a super-fancy McD's (of which I'm a firm believer now that every Mickey D's should have play-places!), we made it to Wichita in great time. Madigan was so excited to see her uncle Ben and aunt Jamie! Last time we saw them, Madigan was just so-so about Ben... This time, she fell head over heels in love with him.

Part of the reason we went was to haul down a load of baby things- our travel system, high chair, baby bath tub, and various baby accessories all got left for the new addition to their family.

We spent Saturday morning exploring one of the neatest "hands on" museums I've been to. Mr. Potato Head exhibits, music and sound demonstrations (hands on!), a giant toddler play area (Madigan went "swimming" in the pond. Oopsie!) and an aviation exhibit (build your own paper airplane, anyone?) were just a few of the things we saw.

Parental worries about napping in unfamiliar territory were also unfounded. She was so exhausted, she was begging for a nap! I did some consignment shopping with Jamie, then we did Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. Sunday we did Granite City Brewery for brunch, naps all around, and then more shopping at Toys R Us. We were so sad to have to leave on Monday after lunch time, but have vowed to get back to visit more than once a year! Meeting up with them in "middle ground" at our parent's house is fine, but visiting each other in our "own" hometowns is sometimes twice as fun! I just love taking Madigan on new adventures, and seeing her excitement at new things. I love seeing her develop her relationship with her aunt and uncle; I can't wait until she gets to meet her new little baby girl cousin this August.

On the road again....

I can't wait to get on the road again...

Goin' places that I have never been.

Seeing things that I may never see again...

I can't wait

to get on the road again.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-02-17T16:14:00.000-06:00

Tea Time

2010-02-15T20:49:00.002-06:00

Time for tea.... and whale crackers!

A few for you...

A few for me...

And a big smile!

Valentine's Day the BK way...

2010-02-13T21:15:00.002-06:00

Brett & I don't have the best luck when we go out to eat for valentine's day.

A few years ago, we got the worst service from a waitress at a local steak house. She apparently thought we were just "little kids" out for dinner, because she made a really snotty remark when we asked about wine with our dinner. After showing her our ID's, she reluctantly served our meal, treating us like trash the whole time. Suck-fest.

This year, we decided to go out to eat on Saturday night, and wanted to take Madigan with us. We were super excited to try this new Thai place in town that we've heard great things about. I heart pad thai, so we were pumped. When we roll up we see it's totally dark and as we pull closer we see a sign saying there was kitchen equipment issues and they're closed. Bummer!

We decided to go to a local restaurant that's a bit nicer than we usually eat at with a kiddo in tow. We don't exactly have a great track record at this place: the first time we tried to eat there was Easter Sunday when I was pregnant, and the hostess was really snobby and rude to us. We left without being seated, and have only returned once since then (the food is yummy!). For some reason I think the staff is convinced they're in some fancy Manhattan restaurant, because they instantly make you feel like you're not worthy to be there. (PS- it's attached to a Holiday Inn in Western Nebraska- not quite what you'd call five star quality!) When we walked in this Saturday, with our toddler with us, they looked around and said the wouldn't be able to seat us for an hour. We looked around at the twelve open tables and were instantly disgusted with them as well.

Back out the door we went, in search of something more familiar to us where we knew we could get good service. Back in the car, with a hungrier-by-the-minute 19 month old, and down the street to the local Chinese food restaurant. We were seated in 3 minutes, and then sat there for another ten, unable to get anyone's attention or help. Each server (at least 5 different ones) walked past our table as quickly as possible, avoiding eye contact and not stopping when we tried to attract anyone to take our order. Brett was super frustrated at this point and Madigan was screaming, so we (for the first time in my life!) got up and left without ever once being acknowledged by any employee there.

At this point Madigan was DONE dealing. She was hungry and she had been packed into and out of the car several times without any food (despite her cries for "eat! food! bite!"). It didn't take long for Brett and I to decide to pass on the sit-down family meal, and hit the drive through.

Back at home, we devoured our Burger King burgers and our deliriously tired toddler downed her chicken fries and grapes. I swear, Brett & I are not high maintenance diners. But for some reason, Valentine's day is not our day to eat out.

Better luck next year? Maybe we will just cook it ourselves!

Pancakes

2010-02-07T20:43:00.007-06:00

When I was a little girl, my mom worked as a nurse on the 6 a.m. to 2 p.m. shift. My dad, being a minister with a bit more flexibility in his hours, was responsible for getting my two brothers and I up and off to school. Every morning, he had breakfast ready for us, and most mornings, it was a hot breakfast. We took turns picking what would be for breakfast, and my personal favorite was pancakes.

My dad is the kind of guy who doesn't just do something to get it done. If he's going to be doing anything, then he's going to make sure that it's not just right, but fun. Pancake mornings were no exception.

The morning he found all my mom's cooking flavors was a true "Randy" moment. He divvied up the batter into many small bowls and we had samplings of pancakes flavored with vanilla, maple, coconut, peppermint and even anise.

If we wanted a topping for our pancakes, he allowed it. Powdered sugar, maple syrup, peanut butter, canned fruit or even chocolate chips were many of the several options we tried.

Where he got really creative was the delivery. I remember sitting at our dining room table, and being able to call out exactly how I wanted my pancake shaped.

"Make me an 'S' one, daddy!" or "I want a Mickey Mouse. No, a pig! NO, a star! Can you make me a star, dad?" and he would just laugh and pour and flip and within a few minutes I would have a star shaped pancake hot and ready on my plate.

Indeed, pancake mornings are atop my list of awesome childhood memories.

So it's with great fondness and nostalgia that I whip out my mother's old griddle and fire it up for a version of "pancake morning" in our house.

I must admit, with great humility, how much harder it is to be the maker of the awesome pancakes. This morning, I managed a batch of plain round pancakes with a touch of maple syrup on top, and that plants me firmly in the "novice pancaker" group. Madigan isn't even old enough to care what flavor they are and she definitely only gets simple toppings and I feel overwhelmed at the mixing, flipping and serving!! I can't imagine what it will be like when she's calling out shapes for me to make her.

However, when it was all said and done, watching her polish off her tiny little silver dollar pancakes and hold her plate up to me to ask "Mo?" (more) was all I needed to be inspired to continue a pancake tradition with her in hopes of honing my own skills of pancakery panache.

Maybe, if we're lucky, we can get Papa Randy to come visit and give me a few tips to help me on my way to fantastic pancake memories for Madigan.

If nothing else, maybe I can talk him into making a batch of the maple pancakes for me, and serving it up shaped like a star....

Another Before & After post...

2010-02-03T20:16:00.004-06:00

So I had a lot of fun last week doing the blog jump for "before & after" pictures that Monica hosted. I had a friend tell me she had just the picture for me to "make over" this week! :)

Here is the "Before" picture. My friend Janae said that she loved this pic of her daughter with her great-grandma, but she didn't love that her bottom was in the background, changing a diaper!

Original:

The first thing I took care of was exactly what she asked, I just "rubber stamped" her booty out of the picture. However, I feel that even when I cropped the image in and left it in full color, it was pretty obvious that something had been tweaked. See:

So next I played with tweaking some color saturation and levels. Here's a faded, antique tone:

And I also faded it out to look aged:

Finally I just played around with some layers and textures. Here's a floral pattern:

Here's an old love letter, and black/white:

And finally, one that just makes it look cracked and old:
I think that a few of them have a nice touch to them. Janae, if you want to save them I think you can just right click and save, but if you need better quality ones I can e-mail.

Again, I had fun tweaking them! If anyone has any snapshots at home they want tweaked for another week, let me know!

In the end...

2010-01-30T21:39:00.004-06:00

Tonight, when I was tucking Madigan into her bed, I did what I always do.

We snuggle together, I rock her in my arms, and we sing a song. Then, with her blanket pressed against her face and her thumb planted firmly in her mouth, I say her "bedtime prayer".

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

May angels watch me through the night,

And wake me with the morning light.

Amen.

She always has to chime in on the "amen" part. It's her favorite part of any prayer. Tonight, she said it four times. Amen. Aaaammmeeennn. amen. AMEN. Very cute.

Then, I layed her down with her blanket and her bunny, and kissed her forehead. I always leave her room with an "I love you". Out of the darkness on my way out, I hear a tiny little voice echo back:

"Love you".

*sigh*

In the end, that is what being a mama is all about.

Edit, cut, repeat.

2010-01-28T19:36:00.003-06:00

One of my favorite photogra-bloggers had a post about "before & after photography", or the editing that goes into photography. Trust me that anyone can be a great photographer- seriously! Sure, nice equipment and lights come in handy, but they're not necessary. All you need is some great software (like photoshop, or even the free, online stuff is great too!) and you're well on your way. Take this picture for example:

I have gotten a lot of compliments on it, and in fact I think it's one of my current favorites. But the raw image was NOTHING like this one! The thing in the picture that drew me in was her eyes- that sweet look she was giving the camera. But there were several things about the original that I didn't like as well. Take a peek for yourself:

First off, the spot to the right of the pic draws obvious attention away (no, it's not pee! it's a carpet stain!) Also, she was holding a bright green drumstick, her cheek was red, and there are toys in the background. Of course I want the attention to be on my wonderful kiddo! So after turning the pic black and white, leaving her eyes big and blue (yes, they're her original color- no tweaks there!) I felt like I was getting somewhere. In photoshop I added a layer (a b/w heart "bokeh" if you're into knowing that kind of thing) and then just erased around what I wanted you to focus on in the picture.

Voila! There you go from mediocre snapshot to "wow- great picture!" in a matter of seconds!

Anyone have any favorite snapshots at home they'd like me to tweak for them?

Fashion Advice

2010-01-22T22:58:00.003-06:00

The importance of being properly dressed for the occasion cannot be stressed enough.

Especially to toddlers.

If you find yourself in need of a little fashion advice, read on:

First, it's of the utmost importance to find the dress. Because you can accessorize around it. Take for instance this green, Tinkerbell number that miss M has on. Just the right amount of tulle and bows for a 4 pm playdate at the local children's museum, right? The shirt underneath is important, as it covers enough skin to keep her modest. After all, you don't want to show it all off, you know? Leave a little something to the imagination.

After you've committed to a dress, you must find the right accessories. In this case, it was a bell-bracelet and a pair of wooden clackers. Also important is getting that dress out on the dance floor and making sure you can "shake it" like no tomorrow. Because when you're wearing a Tinkerbell exclusive ensemble, you won't be a wallflower. She's practicing her paparazzi face, and I think from this shot it appears she's working on her "Mary Kate Olson".

Of course the outfit can't be completed without a hat. Headwear did seem to go out of style there for a bit, but Madigan is attempting to bring it back in, and wanted to try the Chef hat on for size. Attractive, yes? But possibly not the right fit. It's ok to try on many hats before deciding on the one you like best.

Take for instance this hardhat. It provides a nice, masculine balance to the tulle and sequins that Tinkerbell brings to the table. Also, it provides function in the construction zone while working. The key here is to make your hat work for you.

Then again, at the end of the day, if you just feel like slipping into something more comfortable, then do just that! A helmet is the only accessory you need to rock the jeans and a bodysuit look. Pick out your own pair of Dora-the-explorer shoes, and you're in business.

See? Being a fashionista is made very simple!

The Eyes Have It...

2010-01-17T21:17:00.003-06:00

Don't let those angelic eyes and soft little pouty-smile fool you.

She is death on a roll of toilet paper, if she doesn't get her way she will try to lick you, and she has a tendency to let out a high-pitch screech just to get your attention. With the 3 1/2 teeth that she has, she can put down a bowl of cheerios (with milk) in about 2 minutes flat. She is a stuffed bunny loving, thumb sucking, baby-doll toting girly girl extraordinaire. She is good natured until she's tired, then she's got a short fuse. She sleeps for 14 hours straight as long as it's in her own crib, otherwise she won't sleep a wink. She will steal your cell phone and call the first person in your phone book. She withholds kisses because she can, and then gives them freely to her stuffed animals. She's a tail pulling, dog kissing, tutu-wearing ball of energy and love.

That's right, folks. Don't let those baby blue eyes and sweet little smile deceive you at all.

She is even more amazing than a photo could make her look.

I like to move it, move it....

2010-01-07T19:24:00.003-06:00

Does anyone get a visual image of King Julian singing when they read that title?

Anyone?

Ok, so truthfully, I don't love to move. My possessions, that is. I only like to move.

On the plus side, we got help from both sets of parents, including the free usage of an enclosed trailer and the extra lifting power of the dads and the toddler wrangling power of both moms. I also kinda like moving because it forces me to go through all my worldly possessions and decide what is worth keeping and using the manpower to move, and what is best to just give to Goodwill or another charitable organization for their use. (Oh, yeah, and also what is worth packing up and putting into storage at your parents house or the basement of some very generous friends... but we'll get to that...)

Not that moving is all roses and rainbows for us either.

Motivation to move came from several sources for us. We have been homeowners for 5 1/2 years. In that time, we have had two major home repair issues (main line sewer back up and black mold) that were not covered by our homeowners insurance. Both of these led to complete deconstruction and then re-construction of our finished basement, and both issues cost us 5k+ out of pocket. I have to use the term "us" loosely there, because, in fact with the mold issues most recently, we had to borrow money from my generous family to help with the removal of the fungus. Because apparently you need that check in full in the company's hands before they begin work. Lets just say that Dave Ramsey would also not be jumping for joy at our previous budgeting and the fact that we could not just write that check post-haste and feel OK with our savings account afterwards. Don't worry, Mr. Ramsey, if you're reading this, we're working on it... Also, with several property tax increases (schools, parks, developments abound!) our mortgage payments had gone up by 25% since we bought the house (yes, with a fixed APR).

Besides the aforementioned issues, we have other motivating factors as well. We found a rental house that fits our family just fine for around forty percent less than our mortgage was. I actually love that we are renting, because anything that goes wrong costs us one phone call to the homeowner. Lastly, we have to admit that moving home (back to Kansas) has been on our radar. It's not an immediate goal, but it could very well be in the "five year plan" for us. What stops us now is probably solely my employment, because it's honestly amazing. And I can say that, honestly, because I know my boss doesn't read my blog. (Or even know I blog... or maybe even know what a blog is?) Once we made the decision for Brett to stay at home with Madigan (a stay-at-home-dad? In Nebraska? Almost un-HEARD of!) we knew that downsizing for our financial sake, with the goal of getting everything paid off, paid back, or saved back was a necessity.

Why might I be motivated to disclose some less-than-stellar financial issues as our reason for downsizing? Because I think that, in this economy, we're all finding ways to save some money, and this was our solution. Because I think that a lot of the time I talk about my bright, shiny happy life (because, honestly, I feel like most the time it is bright and happy), and I'd hate to have anyone think I perceive any kind of perfection on my part. And because, honestly, I would be willing to share this information with anyone who asked, because we are open people and we have nothing to be ashamed of.

So last week, on New Years Day, we packed everything* we owned into that borrowed enclosed trailer, and hauled it half way across town to our rental house. Luckily, it was enclosed, because January in Nebraska isn't exactly pleasant.

*(Everything: 80% came with us, and about 20% is packed in boxes in the basement of some true-blue friends here in town. Honestly, who lets their friends use up their storage space so that they don't have to pay for a storage unit? People who are awesome, that's who!)

Within 3 days, I had my home unpacked, and we are about 90% settled. There are a few boxes to recycle, a few items needing a "place", and a few little things to tweak, but for the majority, we're home. Home in our "new" old house, with less space, half the bathrooms, half the bedrooms, but twice the charm, less cost and more reassurance than we could ask for right now.

It feels good to be home.

18 months and counting...

2010-01-06T20:41:00.001-06:00

I'm so glad to be finally back on line and in the "real world" again- Its amazing how stressful a move can be, especially when an 18 month old is involved!

True, true- I don't want anyone to think that I forgot that my daughter turned 18 months old while in the midst of the hubub and hoopla of a move!

I remember when she was born, holding her squealing, squirming little body. I remember being told by literally everyone about how it "goes so fast". I remember holding clothes for an 18 month old at my shower and thinking "18 months is so far away."

Now, what seems like mere days have passed, and I have my life full of 18 month old sassy fun. She is becoming such a talker and we are amazed by what she can do every day. Just today she walked to the TV while the food network was on and said "Bite?" to Ina Garten. She is a good eater, a great sleeper and has such a happy disposition. We are so blessed and so lucky!

I cannot believe that in the last 18 months we've went from this:

to this:

And I am so very excited to see what the next 18 months have in store for us!

I really love this girl!

Wordless Wednesday...

2009-12-29T21:21:00.002-06:00

First Haircut

2009-12-27T22:03:00.006-06:00

Christmas Eve:

First, you should know there is a bit of redemption with the Great Christmas Fail. Madigan seemed to hate all the shoes she got this Christmas. (Minus, of course, the pink, old school converse shoes she got from Brett's aunt DeeAnn & family. Because those shoes rock, and even an almost 18-month-old knows that.) But she also got slippers from Grandma & Grandpa Hille, and more crock-ish shoes in her stocking, and both pairs were thrown by the wayside. She apparently only loves her too-small slippers she has now. Who woulda thought?

Now, onto the haircut:

A couple "before" shots:

(Christmas morning hair- of course!)

During...

(dum-dum suckers... a god-send!)

After....

A special thank you goes out to Madigan's Aunt Ashley, who is a professional stylist, and gave miss M her first hair cut. Although the fuzz that was trimmed hardly constitutes a "locket" of hair, we saved it anyway. Because we're silly first time parents like that.

I suppose this means that all the baby-type firsts have been "done"....

*sigh*

The Great Christmas FAIL.

2009-12-22T21:45:00.003-06:00

Deep down, I think I'm a conflicted person.

I mean... I guess even superficially I'm conflicted.

Wait, that was conflicting in & of itself. Gah.

Let's start with Christmas. (Which isn't even here yet, I am totally aware.) I have exercised caution to make sure that people know how we feel about excess. I love that people want to give Madigan things. I love the act of giving and receiving presents. (After all- my love language is GIFTS!) However, we don't want our daughter to grow up thinking that the whole point of this season is to be showered in gifts. We've asked family to keep it to one or two things, smallish, that she will USE. We know that she's young and won't remember this Christmas, and that's coupled with the fact that in this economy, everyone could use a financial pass. We know that if we start a tradition of lots of presents, it only gets harder to keep up with later. So with all these things in mind, we chose our daughter's presents carefully.

First, a membership to the local children's museum. She loves it there, it's going to expand in the spring, and it's a chance to do something together as a family.

Second, we got her a basket of stuffed fruit. I was something to unwrap, it was educational, and it's full of colors and textures to just stimulate her little brain. Also, because we are "in the know" on the gifts from the grandparents, we know that the shopping cart she's getting from grandma and grandpa will go very well with this gift.

Third, we got her a new pair of slippers. Practical, useful, much needed. This little 17 month old is in love with her shoes; she asks for them right after "milk" in the morning! She is her father's child- she wants shoes on from sun-up to sun-down. I was so excited about these shoes!

We decided to have our little family Christmas this past Sunday. We plugged in the tree, we got Madigan up in her jammies and right after breakfast we let her open her gifts. The fruit was a success! She tore them out of the package and named each and every single one of them. (Too bad that she gave them names that most of us can't understand. But, whatever, we can overlook that...) She stood inside the fruit box, she pretended to eat a turnip. Score!

Then, the slippers. She peeled off the lid, and exclaimed "SHOES!" as she turned, sat, and then attempted to put them on. Next, she asked mama for "(h)elp". I also attempted to put them on her, without luck. They are a bit smallish, and also too thick on the bottom to allow her to walk normally. She took about seven steps, very reminiscent of a newborn calf, she scrunched up her face and said to her daddy, "no. No. NO." Then she sat and removed them. She scooped up her stuffed eggplant, and ran off into the Christmas sunset. Fail.

So... being primed for the season that isn't about gifts, can anyone explain to me why it hurt my feelings so much that the shoes we bought were such a fail?

Christmas Countdown...

2009-12-13T20:56:00.005-06:00

Last weekend when we were home we "helped" decorate at the church. I say "helped" because I think that Madigan and I were there for a total of 15 minutes and we were both underfoot for 14 and a half of those. Brett did some real work though, I'm proud of him for pitching in for two congregations that he's never been a member of.

We also enjoyed the annual "Pie & Pipes" celebration, complete with bagpipers and pie. Notice that the people there listening were sitting in the back of the church... not our first rodeo. Bagpipes indoors are LOUD. A band of bagpipers indoors is LOUDER.

Tonight as I was putting Madigan down for the third time, she was at her wits end as to how to convince me to let her stay up playing some more. So each time I turned her onto her side to rock her, she just started blowing in my face. Because I'm childish and easily amused, it made me laugh every time. She capitalized by sitting up and saying "down?" She knows how to work her mom. I have no idea where she got the idea to start blowing. But it was funny.

Maybe you had to be there?

We're on the countdown to Christmas! I'll try to post a few pictures between now and then... I love how busy this time of year seems, and how quickly it goes by. I'm excited for another Christmas with Madigan, to watch her enjoy this one so much more than last year!

I Heart Faces Entry

2009-12-07T14:51:00.005-06:00

Another entry for the "i ♥ Faces" contest for week 48, "sweet dreams" contest. Sleeping babies are truly the sweetest thing ever!

If you'd like to see more sweet dream pictures, then head on over to i heart faces right now!

Kid Pictures

2009-12-03T22:05:00.006-06:00

Just a quick, light-hearted update!

As a "Family" gift for Christmas, we bought a membership to the local area Children's Museum. Madigan LOVES it there, so much to do and see, and she's (slowly) learning about sharing. Her 2 favorite things are the water exhibit and the little red & yellow toy car. I don't know why that toy car is just the best but it sure is! (Oh, yeah- please don't notice that my daughter had her mouth on about every thing I took a picture of her with.)

She's so active and into everything, it's good to have a place to go in the winter months that she can run from one place to another and just get some energy spent! We are so glad that they are building a bigger, better museum that should be open this spring. Since our family membership is good for a year, we should be all set till NEXT Christmas!

We Don't "Do" Santa...

2009-12-01T20:18:00.005-06:00

Christmas is chalk-full of nostalgia inducing moments. In fact, I can't sing "O Christmas Tree" or "Silent Night" without belting out at least one verse in German, and thinking about caroling with the Byron youth group to the nursing homes in the area. When I think about Christmas, I think about felt advent calendars, tons of food, hugs from my grandparents, and wearing poster-board angel wings for the children's service at my church. When I asked my husband what images pop into his head when asked about Christmas, it's many of the same things- snow, food, family, and eggnog filled moose cups. As children, we were FULL to the brim with Christmas spirit.

In case you didn't notice, neither of us said Santa.

Brett says he doesn't know if the "Santa" phenomenon was ever really "pitched" to him or not. He remembers a neighbor dressing up as Santa and delivering presents, but says he always knew that it was just that- a neighbor dressed up as Santa. I think that with 2 older siblings (for each of us), the idea of this mystery man was never really pitched too hard to either of us because our parents had other, more pressing issues to attend to... like cutting out poster board angel wings and filling our moose cups up once again.

So now, as parents ourselves, we know we only have this year to solidify our own traditions. Let's face it- last year, when Madigan was still under 6 months old during the holidays, we were on the tail end of survival mode. We knew she didn't care that it was Christmas, and quite frankly, neither did we! This year, we better get our stories straight. She's going to have a lot of questions next year at this time, and if either of us flinch when she asks them, we will be in trouble.

Here's the catch: We aren't going the Santa route. And apparently, that's some sort of big deal.

Now, it wouldn't be a big deal if we were the religious zealots, Santa-is-satan, cram-my-Jesus-down-your-throat kind of folks. Because, that would be...expected. But for those of you who know us, you know that's not the case. So I guess that's why people are shocked when we say we're just not "doing the santa thing". Here's why....

First, I was a child sensitive to lies and have grown into an adult that is just as sensitive to being lied to. I hate liars, I hate being lied to, I am an actual-factual being. I'd rather be told a disappointing truth than a beautiful lie. If my parents would have tried to sell me a fake Santa story, I would have been furious when I found out. So I cannot willingly lie to my child for the sake of fantasy, only to know she'll be disappointed later. Secondly, I was raised to know the real Christmas story. One more beautiful than a man on a sleigh with magic flying reindeer. The first Christmas story holds enough magic for me, and it's real. It's not that I didn't know the whole "santa story", because I knew who he was. But to me, it was just another make-believe story. "Santa" still filled my stocking; and when "Santa" came to town on a firetruck to hand out brown paper sacks filled with dry peanuts, an orange and an unidentifiable lump of ribbon candy, I was first in line. I had fun playing along, because I was in on the secret.

As parents, our approach has nothing to do with anti-consumerism, over commercialism, or religious supremacy. I don’t care if she gets gifts from “Santa”, sits on his lap for a picture, or reads “The Night Before Christmas”. We have just chosen to forego selling a Santa story to our daughter, and instead focus on cookies, songs, family and Jesus (not necessarily in that order). Because those are the things that we cherish about childhood Christmases, and we want to give those same memories to her.

So break out the moose cups and eggnog, and gather around our tree for a rousing rendition of “Stille Nacht”. Bring your Santa hats, and help us make Madigan’s Christmas memories just as glitter-crusted as possible.

another I ♥ faces entry

2009-11-29T22:55:00.004-06:00

So this week's contest for I ♥ faces contest is a "tooshies" contest.

I do happen to have several naked hind ends in my photography files, however, this is a clothed hind-end contest only.

I like this one, a picture from an engagement session I did. I love hand holding, jeans wearing engaged people. It's still "new" love, even though it's an old enough love to commit to marriage.

It always makes me think back to when I was newly engaged- just a young 20 years old, and I was so in love. A love that only grows more as time progresses... aww. Young love....

To see all the clothed bottoms you'd ever want to see, click on over to I Heart Faces website.

I ♥ faces

2009-11-24T13:29:00.004-06:00

This is my entry for the I ♥ Faces "sun flare" contest this week.

To see all the entries, click here to be taken to the I ♥ faces website.

I took this picture of Madigan while she was playing in the park and I was trying to get a good picture for our Christmas card... it's an honest sun flare, unedited in any way. I love the look on her face!

Cheater

2009-11-23T19:50:00.000-06:00

I am a cheater.

Before you go questioning my faithfulness to my husband, please know that the sanctity of our marriage is very much intact.

However, recently I was asked to be the subject of an undergrad interview for a social work major, and I agreed, with reservations. The subject: infertility. Immediately after agreeing, I felt like a giant fraud. A cheater, a liar, a poser.

Who am I to talk about infertility?

First, my journey was a relatively short- 20 months. (In infertility terms, that's nothing!)

Second, I won the crazy lottery and ended up with a child. How did that happen?

My first impression is to feel like I have somehow cheated the system. How can I call myself an "infertile"? My time on the roller coaster of infertility was short, albeit wild enough for me. With minimal medical intervention, we succeeded and wound up with not only a pregnancy, (which is a type of success unto itself) but an actual live birth. When I refer to my infertility-days, or talk of *gasp* another child most of my friends and family are quick to dismiss my belief that secondary infertility is not only a possibility for me, but indeed a probability. How would I possibly begin to explain to a college student what infertility does to a woman?

Then again, I've never felt comfortable when planted in the "mommy group" either. I absolutely, positively love my role as mother. I have relied on my mom-friends for countless amounts of advice, encouragement and reinforcement. But it's impossible for me to join in the lighthearted conversations about birth control, and when to "plan" the next child. I feel like the band geek, hanging out with the cheerleaders- waiting for that moment when they find out I somehow "cheated" to get into the club of motherhood, and kicking me back out again. This exclusive club of motherhood is fantastic, but trust me, you'll never find me saying to someone "you'll understand when you have children". Because in all truthfulness, you may not understand until you have faced not having children.

Right now, a person who offered me true support during my struggle is in a battle of her own. Her story began long before mine did, and has continued on after my infertility journey ended. I'm broken hearted for her, that her fifth cycle of IVF has failed, that science and medicine have left two very deserving people with empty arms and broken hearts. There is no fairness to that, no explaination and I feel like a fraud because I cheated to get here when she's worked her butt off and is still stuck there. Nothing I can do will help her become a mother, and I hate that.

In the end, I did the interview. I spoke about what I do know about infertility and what it does to a woman. I told the student that I believe that the infertile population is grossly underserved, and I hope she can change that. I know that often my posts are light-hearted and full of pictures, but if you need to know anything about me, it's that infertility is never far from my mind. Whether I'm worrying and praying for a friend, or thinking about my own impending struggle with secondary infertility, it's something that never gets put out of my mind.

So, yeah... I'm a cheater.

And if there was any way I could help a friend to cheat, I'd be there in a heart beat.

Thankful.

2009-11-17T20:18:00.000-06:00

I am thankful.

Full of thanks.

Chalk-full of it.

I am thankful for tiny, chubby hands that grab everything and leave smeary little fingerprints behind. I am thankful for a curiosity that is insatiable. I'm thankful for a tiny little mind that needs to know.

I'm thankful for long eyelashes, tiny ponytails, and a girly-girl that picks a boat to match her outfit. I'm thankful for a husband that is as involved in our marriage as he is in parenting.

I'm thankful for little brown dresses, for a daughter that loves water so much she'll play with it anywhere, and for an adventuresome child. I'm thankful for a healthy child.

I'm thankful for blue, blue eyes, black mary-janes, chipped paint merry-go-rounds, and a girl who circles counter-clockwise.

I'm thankful for my husband, whom I truly believe was sent to me by God. I'm thankful for our family. I'm thankful for my friends, both those I know in real life and those who I've only met through blogging. I am so thankful, for my life and for the things I have to count as blessing.

What are you thankful for?

Did you notice?

2009-11-16T15:33:00.002-06:00

I updated my blog!

It's so much fun- like getting new clothes for my own personal webspace. Except I can't get too fat for this makeover! Win-Win!!

I also re-arranged my blog roll on the side of the page. I separated the list into "family" "friends" and "businesses". I expect I'll change it a little bit more as I start to expand on my new blog roll. I've found some great blogs recently and might be adding them as well.

Maybe I'll just do a quick bullet post update, in case you've wondered what's going on in "Sillyhille" land....

I have done NO Christmas shopping. Boo.
Madigan has 3 teeth, and is apparently very angry that the others would like to come through as well. I'd love to hear ANY advice on teething (except for rubbing booze on her gums, I'm not that kind of mom).
I will be traveling to Kansas for the next three weekends. Once for a photo shoot of a newborn (yay!), once for T-giving, once for Pie & Pipes celebration at our home church.
Um, I've been eating butter cake and wondering how I can become Paula Deen. I like one suggestion that I don't necessarily want to BE her, as much as I'd like her to be my surrogate grandmother.
I'm working on two new posts that I'm just don't feel are "finished" yet. I usually just sign on, type some stuff, and post it... (like this entry!) but I have 2 that are a bit more deep-thinking for me and I'm debating on even posting them at all... Don't know if the majority of people who read this (all three of you...) would just prefer light updates on the Littlest SillyHille, or if, you know, reading actual thoughts from me is also amusing. Did you know that if you leave a comment (hint hint) I would know that my aimless typing is not in vain? :)
In reviewing my bullet points, I realize that I use italics (and parenthesis) a bit too much. Forgive me.

So, that's my nut, in a shell. And since I didn't participate in the usual "not-me! monday" post that I occasionally do, I have just ONE "not me" to impart...

I most certainly did not eat pot-roast for breakfast. Because it smelled so delicious. And protein is filling, right?

I ♥ Paula Deen

2009-11-11T19:53:00.004-06:00

When I grow up, I want to be Paula Deen.

No, seriously, I do. I really really do.

I decided I can over look her almost indecipherable Southern accent because she introduced me to butter cake. Take a second to soak that up.... butter. cake. 6 ingredients, the majority of which is actual butter and cake.

Here's the recipe:

Cake:

1 pkg yellow cake mix

1 egg

8 tablespoons butter, melted

Mix together and pat into lightly greased 9x13.

Filling:

8 oz soft cream cheese

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

8 ounces butter, melted

16 ounces powdered sugar

Mix together and spread over the cake mixture.

Bake for 45 minutes at 350 degrees. The center should still be soft/gooey when you remove it from the oven. Cool it completely as this cake is best served at room temp.

True Paula-fans know that you can NOT sub margarine for butter. But just in case it's your first foray into Paula-ness, take note. NO Margarine. Mmmk?

My husband and I enjoyed this cake one night after tucking the lil sillyhille into bed. We snuggled up in front of the CMA's and brewed some decaf chocolate truffle coffee. It was delightful. If you have at home date nights, I highly suggest this. You won't be dissapointed.

Let me know if you try it...

Wordless Wednesday

2009-11-11T13:25:00.002-06:00

Nursery Rhymes, SillyHille Style:

2009-11-07T22:43:00.006-06:00

Humpty Grump-ty sat on a wall.

Humpty Grump-ty did not want to fall.

A pile of pine cones

and the freedom to roam...

Revealed a smile

before we headed back home.

Under Where?!

2009-11-02T17:28:00.008-06:00

This post is about underwear.

MY underwear, to be precise, so you may want to stop reading if we're related or you ever feel like looking me in the eyes again. Ok, that might be a bit dramatic....

Carrying on....

The thought of folding my underwear has never crossed my mind. I was not raised by folders. I did not marry a folder. So I think, genetically speaking, we have two non-folders and those are dominant genes. We're bound, by nature, to be non-folders. It's not that I'm anti-underwear folding. Quite honestly, it never occured to me to fold it. So, imagine my surprise when at work, not one but two co-workers had to explain to me the nuances of underwear folding. It perplexed me, that people take the time to fold something that is not seen by anyone other than their spouse.

Who are these underoo folders, and what motivates them?

Several theories ran through my mind regarding why a person might want to fold their briefs.

Do they fold them because they're too Type A? Is it that much more organized? I admit, mine is basically crammed full then slammed shut. Could they possibly be oragmi freak shows and love to fold things? (I believe the latter, when bred back with other "origami" genes, produce humans who grow up to fold the swan-towels at resorts hotels, and boat-napkins at fancy restaurants).

It led me to conduct my own research into the field of underwear folding. To understand a folder, meant I needed to become a folder...

I spent a recent evening by dumping my underwear drawer, and putting it back together again. This, my dear friends, is what I've learned about myself:

1. I own many pairs of underwear I refuse to wear. Too big, too small, too loose, not enough fabric, and weird elastic accounted for probably 25% of my total underwear collection, all that I refuse to put on. For good measure, I threw them all away.

2. I own one pair of underwear that involves fur, or at least faux-fur, that I'm almost certain I've never worn. It was quite possibly given to me as a joke, for my bachelorette party, but I honestly cannot remember. I kept it. Not with any intention of wearing it, mind you. But just in case I die and a total stranger must clean out my underwear drawer, I want them to think that maybe I was a bit wild. Ha.

3. I own a pair of candy-necklace style underwear. It was given to me by my brother-in-law. At Christmas. In front of the whole family. I'm not going to explain that one any further. Just suffice it to say that more than one person was embarassed that day.

4. A large portion, probably upwards of 80%, of my underwear was purchased before my daughter was born. Actually, I can safely say it was before she was conceived. It was back about three styles of victoria's secret waitstbands ago.

5. All my underwear, with the exception of the fur and food pairs listed above, is 100% cotton. Most of them are victoria's secret low rise briefs. Not because I'm that girl that has to have brand name underwear. But because it lasts longer than any other underwear I've ever had. Obviously, since I buy it about once every 5 years. Apparently new underwear isn't a high priority to me. In the spirit of full disclosure, spending $50 on panties when I feel like it should be spent on diapers, groceries, and other "necessities" is what really stops me.

So there you have it. Once I whittled away my stash, I folded them as Trisha so kindly showed me how (on pretend underwear, at work. I don't make my co-workers fold actual underwear for me.)

I must say... it DOES look so much nicer in my drawers...

Maybe a non-folder can indeed become a folder after all....

Bee-utiful!

2009-10-31T16:23:00.003-05:00

Miss Madigan got a halloween package from Grandma & Grandpa Hille this week. It had a stuffed ghost and a sippy cup in it. She loved the cup, she was a bit reserved about the ghost. Finally, after 2 days of me hugging and kissing the ghost, she decided he was alright after all. Here's a picture of her actually HUGGING him, and patting him on the back. Her mouth is wide open because she's saying "huuuuuuug".

She is going to be a bumblebee for Halloween. She's not so sure about the hood being up, but she's fairly content if the hood is down. Here I had to bribe her with my phone to get her to leave the hood up.

This is the back of the Bee. I love the antennae and the wings! She's our little honey bee!

We're not big Halloween people, but we're going to visit a friend's house then head to a local church that has kids activities inside.

Oh, yeah, we're planning on eating all her candy once she goes to bed too. He he he...

Silly Hille

Winner!

*groan*

Photography Blog

Touch of Sun

White

Silhouettes

i heart faces: pets

IHF: eyes

Sweet M

IHF: Water

Quiet Time

Who's blog is this?

Happy Birthday, Girl...

Making Lemonade...

i heart faces: whimsy

Home Owners, the Before & After

IHF: Bright & Vivid

i heart faces: from a distance

This weekend....

Spring Fever...

A GIVEAWAY!!

Full Race Report

It's Time...

IHF: Slice of Life...

Sun Flare

About that Half....

Let's Celebrate!

My Half-Panic

IHF: head, shoulders...

I'm a Duck

i heart faces entry

No take backs!

Slacker...

Heaven is For Real

Full

Poet, I'm not....

Let it snow...

Happy 2011!

One year later...

Merry Christmas

IHF: Silhouette

Basement Dwellers...

Where do I begin?

IHF: Orchards

PP Before/After Hop

Picture Post

Johnny Appleseed

IHF: Chalk!

A Common Love...

“The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created--created first in the mind and will, created next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating.”

IHF: Vroom Vroom

Queen Sized Crib?

Miss Toddler America

I heart faces entry

Ramblings on Faith

Calling all Prayer Warriors!

Summer Time!

i heart faces: babies

♥

If you feel like dancin'...

A Hero's Welcome

About Babies...

Easter

One Thousand Words

Before & After Blog Hop

Mmm...

Bullet Points...

Ten Question Tuesday....

Another Entry....

I ♥ Faces, "out takes"

Wordless Wednesday

Tea Time

Valentine's Day the BK way...

Pancakes

Another Before & After post...

In the end...

Edit, cut, repeat.

Fashion Advice

The Eyes Have It...

groan