MY underwear, to be precise, so you may want to stop reading if we're related or you ever feel like looking me in the eyes again. Ok, that might be a bit dramatic....
Carrying on....
The thought of folding my underwear has never crossed my mind. I was not raised by folders. I did not marry a folder. So I think, genetically speaking, we have two non-folders and those are dominant genes. We're bound, by nature, to be non-folders. It's not that I'm anti-underwear folding. Quite honestly, it never occured to me to fold it. So, imagine my surprise when at work, not one but two co-workers had to explain to me the nuances of underwear folding. It perplexed me, that people take the time to fold something that is not seen by anyone other than their spouse.
Who are these underoo folders, and what motivates them?
Several theories ran through my mind regarding why a person might want to fold their briefs.
Do they fold them because they're too Type A? Is it that much more organized? I admit, mine is basically crammed full then slammed shut. Could they possibly be oragmi freak shows and love to fold things? (I believe the latter, when bred back with other "origami" genes, produce humans who grow up to fold the swan-towels at resorts hotels, and boat-napkins at fancy restaurants).
It led me to conduct my own research into the field of underwear folding. To understand a folder, meant I needed to become a folder...
I spent a recent evening by dumping my underwear drawer, and putting it back together again. This, my dear friends, is what I've learned about myself:
1. I own many pairs of underwear I refuse to wear. Too big, too small, too loose, not enough fabric, and weird elastic accounted for probably 25% of my total underwear collection, all that I refuse to put on. For good measure, I threw them all away.
2. I own one pair of underwear that involves fur, or at least faux-fur, that I'm almost certain I've never worn. It was quite possibly given to me as a joke, for my bachelorette party, but I honestly cannot remember. I kept it. Not with any intention of wearing it, mind you. But just in case I die and a total stranger must clean out my underwear drawer, I want them to think that maybe I was a bit wild. Ha.
3. I own a pair of candy-necklace style underwear. It was given to me by my brother-in-law. At Christmas. In front of the whole family. I'm not going to explain that one any further. Just suffice it to say that more than one person was embarassed that day.
4. A large portion, probably upwards of 80%, of my underwear was purchased before my daughter was born. Actually, I can safely say it was before she was conceived. It was back about three styles of victoria's secret waitstbands ago.
5. All my underwear, with the exception of the fur and food pairs listed above, is 100% cotton. Most of them are victoria's secret low rise briefs. Not because I'm that girl that has to have brand name underwear. But because it lasts longer than any other underwear I've ever had. Obviously, since I buy it about once every 5 years. Apparently new underwear isn't a high priority to me. In the spirit of full disclosure, spending $50 on panties when I feel like it should be spent on diapers, groceries, and other "necessities" is what really stops me.
So there you have it. Once I whittled away my stash, I folded them as Trisha so kindly showed me how (on pretend underwear, at work. I don't make my co-workers fold actual underwear for me.)
I must say... it DOES look so much nicer in my drawers...
Maybe a non-folder can indeed become a folder after all....
As a TOTAL type A individual I can't even fathom folding underware. But to each there own, right? And because I can completely relate to the stash of unworn panties, I had to laugh. . . I find myself unable to part with the dainty little underwear that no longer fits, yet makes me feel somewhat attractive for merely owning them. Dream on :)
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