Queen Sized Crib?

Brett & I were cleaning Madigan's room the other day, when I asked him casually how easily her crib converts to a toddler bed. He took the rail off to show me, and Madigan jumped right into her bed and acted excited about how "big girl" it was. We debated a bit, but decided to try it out that night. We rocked and sang, said our prayer and I laid her down in her new "big girl" crib-turned-toddler bed.

She panicked.

Sobbing ensued.

We did try to leave her in there, but neither of us ever had the "Ferber" willpower and we caved about 5 minutes into the episode. I walked in to find her huddled in the corner of the bed, bunny gripped tightly and in between the sobs she muttered, "Side On! Side ON!"

Brett had already grabbed the necessary equipment and was gladly obliging.

She calmed down and watched him attach it, and said in the tiniest voice, "thank you, daddy."

I rocked her a bit more, and as I was tucking her into her four sided crib she said "night night, mama." and went right to sleep.

When I came out of her room, Brett looked at me and said, "If she's in no hurry to grow up, I'm in no hurry to help her. She can stay in that crib as long as she wants to." That's really why I love this man- I felt the exact same way but wasn't going to say it!

In 17 years when she leaves for college I won't have the liberty of knowing where she is every night at 8:30 pm.

Besides, I've already looked into adult size cribs, and I think this will fit nicely into her dorm room:

Miss Toddler America

So I've been pretty busy chasing a high-heeled toddler around, among many other things, and have been a bad blogger.

Please forgive me.

Among the many things, in no particular order:

Brett & I have finished our "summer workout program" that we started earlier and have moved on to other endeavors. We did the Insanity workout series from Beach Bodies. It was hard core, for sure. Luckily I had no idea what I had gotten myself into and by the time we had started I knew I couldn't just be a quitter- so we gutted it out. If you have bad joints, don't even think about starting this. TONS of jumping and plyometrics! But we both did alright- I think my total weight loss for the 2 month program was around 12 pounds. It was definitely a great plateau-kicker for us. (We started following weight watchers in March and by June had hit a plateau with weight loss and motivation.) We have since moved on to running and hope to enter some 5k's this fall. There is a half marathon in our state capitol in May- I'm not committing publicly to this mind you- but we are going to see if we think we could endure it! I definitely prefer the running over the Insanity- for one Madigan loves to ride with us! She asks me daily "Run, mommy? Go running?" so it helps for motivation. I'd love to have suggestions from my running reader(s) as to shoes, ipod playlists, or any training tips for 5ks! We just barely have our toe in the water, and I realize it's a whole new world of people who call themselves "runners"!

Besides our healthier summer, I have also been booked solid with my photography business. Weddings, babies, children, families- summer is the busy season for me! I love it but sometimes I admit that the housework gets neglected when I have photos to edit and deliver to clients! I'm lucky to have a husband who doesn't complain much- but I know he's ready for me to slow down a bit too.

My brother & his wife welcomed their much-awaited baby to this world on 8-9-10! (What a cool birthday, huh!?) We had to make a flying-trip down to visit and the 5 hour (one way) trip was definitely worth it. Madigan thinks the world of her baby cousin. She has talked about her every day since we got home.

I've also been working on my 101 in 1001- I am dangerously close to the end and have a TON of things left looming! Eek.

Anyway, I really hope the video loads. If not, here's a couple pictures of Ms. Madigan and her shenanigans:

I heart faces entry

The theme for this week at i heart faces is "Gotta Wear Shades"!

I couldn't resist this picture from a wedding that I shot this weekend:

There's nothing quite like the future that is laid out in front of you on your wedding day, is there?

If you'd like to see all the entries to the i heart faces contest for the week, click on over to their site (linked above).

I have entered a new phase of motherhood.

I'm not sure what it's called, since this is my first go-round with motherhood, but I think the long name is "The Phase Where You Are Simultaneously Impressed With What Your Child Can Say & Embarrassed By It". (It might also be referred to as "Toddlerhood")

Before church today, Madigan kept repeating the same word over and over, and I had no idea what she was saying. Finally she stood on the pew, pointed to the band area, and proclaimed "Bio-LIN!" Indeed-she was pointing to a cello and declaring that the man was playing a giant violin. We were as impressed as everyone around us, and then quietly asked each other "How did she know that? We don't ever see violins!" Sadly, we realized how she knew what a "bio-lin" even was: Elmo's World. What a true proud parent/embarrassed parent moment.

After church I was speaking with an Indian woman, who was the mother of a little boy who had just been baptized. Madigan and this boy, Valentino, are almost the same age and seem to be as good of "friends" as kids this age can be. As I was speaking with her, Madigan points and says "Tino's Mama!" and we both acknowledged that she is 'Tino's Mama. Then she proclaims, "Tino's Mama is BROWN!" I just kept chatting but Madigan grabbed my face, turned it so we were looking eye-to-eye, and said again, "Tino's mama IS BROWN!" I didn't really know what I was supposed to say to that, except that I obviously had to acknowledge it or she would just keep repeating herself. "Yes, honey. She is." was all I could manage to say. I have never been so proud that my daughter knew her colors and embarrassed by it at the same time.

I have a feeling it's only the beginning for us... This is one observant kid!

Ramblings on Faith

Two years ago, I delivered a girl, and was delivered into the world of motherhood.

"If You just let me get pregnant and carry a baby to term, I will never ask for anything again."

This was a phrase I desperately (and often) repeated to God during our attempts at starting our family. I am fully aware that bargaining with Him doesn't work: by defining what I was willing to do, that only assumes that there was a limit to what He is capable of. He doesn't need me to outline what's in 'the deal'. He's the one in the driver's seat! It was futile, but that seemed to be my middle name. Besides that, He already knew that was a big, fat lie on my part from the get-go.

God would (and did) fulfill my requests, not because I asked but because He had planned it that way all along. And you better believe that I didn't keep my end of the bargain: I asked for a healthy baby, for a safe delivery, and for several other things since then. Some of those things happened too; not because I asked, but because He had it planned that way all along.

So is prayerfully asking Him for these things in vain? I believe not. He knows our hearts, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to hear what is weighing on them.

Being a parent has affected me many ways, but my faith has maybe changed the most. I know I only have a small sliver of the parenting-know-how that God has. I can only imagine that the frustrations I sometimes feel with a 2 year old, He feels with all of His children on a daily basis. My child knows right from wrong, but sometimes chooses to disobey. I know what she wants before she even asks for it, but I make her ask me anyway. Sometimes she asks for things and promises to share and be gentle, and she isn't. Sometimes she shuns me in frustration, refuses to hug and kiss me, or screams at me angrily. It is in those moments when I feel deeply frustrated that I always think about my own actions as a Child of God, and realize that she comes by those actions very, very naturally. In turn, God has planted in me a small seed of Himself: in spite of those actions and behaviors, I love her anyway. Unconditionally.

It is through grace that God gives us what we need but do not deserve. God's grace has been abundant in my life, most notably in the last two years. It is His grace that I try to model my own parenting after. I strive to do for my child what God has done for me: patience, security, unconditional love, guidance, and grace.

Very soon, we will be asking him for another child. (Proof that I am incapable of keeping up my end of that 'never asking for anything again' bargain.) I will ask, and He will answer in His way, in His time.

Not because I am asking, but because He has a plan for us all along.

God's grace.

We are undeserving, but so deeply grateful.

Calling all Prayer Warriors!

This post is just a bits-n-pieces one:

• A friend of mine from high school, Janae, has recently been dealing with some health issues with her daughter AJ. Click on over to her blog to read up on it, or just feel free to pray for her family as you see fit. It's hard when you hurt for your children. Send her some love!
• I had to do the Heimlich on Madigan last week. I'm a nurse, I'm not an 'over-react'-er. This was the obstructed airway, no noise from her blue little face back-blows. She was eating a chip and coughed. Then just didn't cough and made no noises- before I could do anything (actually I think I said "Holy $h!t") I had her out of her booster seat and was doing the back blows. Five solid hits later she was crying and pushing me away. Apparently choking is scary enough, but then having your mom rip you from your seat and beat you is equally as traumatic. Brett had to reassure her that "mommy hit you because she wanted to help you." In the spirit of full disclosure, she actually wanted to finish dinner, and ate quite a bit more. I didn't eat much after that... I felt too icky.
• I really need to write down all the things that Madigan says incorrectly. Because they're funny and soon enough she'll be talking correctly. Here's a start: Bug = "bung"; alpaca = "al-ca-pack-a"; Big Bird = "Bing Bud"; elephant = "ele-phip". And recently we had to have this conversation: (M) "What's that?" (Me): "It's a nipple." (M) "Nee-pull" (Me) "yes." (M) "Daddy- shirt please."
• Brett & I have started a 60-day workout program that I'm fairly certain was designed by satan and has the ultimate goal of causing cardiac arrest. I could be wrong about that, but I'm pretty sure I'm spot-on. We took "before" pictures (which you will not be seeing, thankyouverymuch) and also did measurements. We started it about 2 weeks ago and re-measuring hasn't been necessary since my clothes are literally falling off of me. Even though I'm "2 weeks successful" I still can't go "public" with it (on facebook, naturally) because I still want the option to quit and not be accountable to anyone. There, I admitted it and hopefully someone who reads this will now keep me accountable.... Anyone? Anyone??
• I'm thinking I need to dye my hair blonde again. Because Madigan is such a cute blonde, and everyone says "Who is the blonde in the family?!" (Brett & I were BOTH super blonde, so that answer to that is "both of us") but since we've both gotten darker in our 20's (his naturally and mine has been helped along...) nobody believes that she gets that from us. I'm thinking of going lighter... opinions?

That covers the basics of what's happening here. Again, please keep my friend Janae in your prayers, and leave her some love/support on her blog if you'd like. It's a rough time, and it's always nice to know people care.....

Summer Time!

I love the summer. I love to swim, I love to play outside, and I love that Madigan loves it too.

One of the first times we went to the pool, we started in the baby pool. Shallow, safe, slow. That is SO not Madigan's style, and she didn't last long. Here's a pic of her in her monkey-suit and her "occu-puss".

The second time we went to the pool, we did get right in the "big kid" side. It was fun, and she enjoyed splashing around with her mama for a bit. We even practiced making faces for the camera:

Then, she saw it.

The water slide: her new favorite thing. It has water, it is a slide: it must be from heaven. No worries for her- she let us schlep her up the three story stairs and sat on our laps to ride down. Please note the expressions in the next picture: Brett is nervous. Not a strong swimmer, my husband. Nervous about holding a not-even-2-year-old in his lap. Her expression? Well... if her chubby little head smiled any more it would split in two.

We joke around that this daughter of ours doesn't do "slow" or "careful". She's animated, excited about life, and has no fears about anything. Other people may call her "busy", but I know that neither of us would have it any other way.